Bonus Poem of the Week: What I Personally Want from Pro Wrestling from 2020 Onward

What I Personally Want from Pro Wrestling from 2020 Onward
June 8, 2020

Simple, straightforward booking that makes sense from start to end—
No out-of-nowhere shock twists, lest they somehow make sense, friend—
Centered around strong characters developed oh so thoroughly
Through matches and promos alike so that they appeal to you and me.
Characters played by performers who know how to handle themselves
In the ring so that they avoid putting themselves and each other on the shelves
While performing feats of athleticism that not only please the eye,
But demonstrate wrestling diversity as we know it ‘neath Heaven’s sky:
Puroresu, lucha libre, power wrestling, folk wrestling, submission,
Brawling, chain wrestling, showboating, dirty—let it be your mission
To show us every wrestling style known so we’ve a variety
In addition to each wrestler’s persona and personality,
For in-ring performance is one thing, but that’s only part of the whole,
And without the charisma with which to present one’s self in a given role,
A wrestler may never get over with the masses far and wide,
So it’s his or her job to rally the fans to or against his or her side.
Then again, knowing one’s own strengths and weaknesses is key—
Showing off the former and hiding the latter to work on in secrecy
So that when one reaches one’s apex, one’s shot at immortality
Will be hard-earned and worth the effort of becoming nobility
Just like the greats who came before and made for us all countless memories
As heroes and heels in a golden age we’ve all yet again to see.
Then again, these wrestling stars lucked out in having creative on their side—
Promoters and bookers who believed in them and looked upon them with pride
And let them ply their craft to the fullest, letting their talent shine through,
Living their dreams of stardom organically to inspire me and you.
Finally are the fans, many of whom are true, yet others are full of hot air,
Spewing venom ‘bout all in the business that they hate like children without care,
Thinking they alone own the truth ‘bout what pro wrestling ought to be,
Bitching day and night ‘bout even the most minor thing they chance to hear or see
‘Bout these wrestling shows they claim “suck,” yet they still watch week after week.
No wonder these promotions can’t succeed and all their futures seem bleak!
These “fans” need to grown up and learn to keep their testosterone in check
And to root for what wrestling they at all like, else the biz will keep getting “rekt.”
That’s all I want from pro wrestling, a lot though it my seem,
And it’s far more doable than one might think, so let’s get it together, team,
And commit to one solid vision of what pro wrestling can and should be
To keep the art alive and bring about the new golden age we’ve all yearned to see.

*****

Author Pages: Smashwords.com
                         Amazon.com
                         Amazon.co.uk

Poem of the Week: An Off-the-Cuff Rant on Ungrateful Wrestling “Fans”

An Off-the-Cuff Rant on Ungrateful Wrestling “Fans”
August 11, 2019

I’m done with foul-mouthed “smark” bashers whining their lives away
‘Bout how “vanilla midgets” have ruined Vinny Mac’s show in so many ways,
Not caring that the folks in charge are just as guilty—if not more so—
For making the product so tough to watch since so many years ago.

I’m done with self-entitled pseudo-alphas spewing bile left and right
‘Bout “crappy” indie wrestling shows in front of their web cams each night
While likewise dumping on the product they claim to have loved long ago,
Yet continuing to watch the “trash” ‘cause they just can’t let go.

I’m done with insecure omegas slamming the ladies’ wrestling scene,
For while other critics can voice their gripes without being rotten or mean,
The creeps of whom I speak swear women have no business in the ring—
Only backstage or at ringside being male wrestlers’ “living bling.”

I’m done with grown boys moaning and groaning ‘bout how the business “sucks”
And is for nobody but “soyboys,” “betamales,” and various other schmucks—
Especially with the resurgence the industry’s received as of late,
And had these boys minds open enough, I’d gladly with them debate

That come October 2019, things could change for the better
With new wrestling shows to soothe our souls no matter the weather—
Shows that might not compete right away with Vinny Mac’s regime,
But could so in a few years’ time and during then wash away clean

The bad taste we’ve all had in our mouths from this sports theater monopoly
And that I’ve had from your petty pouting, as you can tell, mon ami,
For why should I add to your noise and further confuse good ol’ Vinny Mac
In his efforts to redeem his product and thus bring some excitement back?

After all, I’d come to think long ago that “fans” are part of the reason
Why pro wrestling’s been on the toilet for so long, no matter the season,
Always railing ‘gainst this and that, yet rarely—if ever—giving praise
To that which a promotion or wrestler does right like we did back in the day.

Hopefully, that’ll all change soon, and from then, perhaps even forever,
For change is bound to happen, and for my money, it’s now or never,
And I don’t just mean in the business itself. I mean ‘mongst fankind, too,
As pro wrestling needs a new breed of fan to help it see itself through:

The kind of fan who’ll appreciate the effort of those in the ring
And offer constructive criticisms to those whose praises they want to sing
While otherwise sitting back and enjoying the stories unfolding onscreen.
Such fans pro wrestling has long missed, if you know what I mean,

And should wrestling keep its head on straight and out from ‘tween its cheeks,
Then hopefully it’ll win back the fans that each promotion now seeks,
And creeps like I’ve ragged on will buzz off, lest they at last change their tune,
For their fickle spite’s no longer needed anywhere ‘neath the sun or the moon.

Good riddance to these know-it-all posers who’re just as bad as the “smarks”
With their ranting and raging that in turn kills others’ enjoyment in the art.
Here’s hoping, though, that they won’t last long once October rings in a new day.
Then again, knowing my luck, a new breed of pest will ruin that in some way…

*****

Author Pages: Smashwords.com
                         Amazon.com
                         Amazon.co.uk

*****

NWA Wrestling logo (c) 1948-present Lightning One, Inc.. AEW logo (c) 2019 All Elite Wrestling, LLC. All else is the author’s own work and opinion.

Poem of the Week: Message to a Disgruntled Wrestling Fan

Message to a Disgruntled Wrestling Fan
November 14, 2018

You try, try, try ‘til you can’t try anymore.
You give it your best shot, but doing so becomes a chore,
And your teeth grind while your blood boils and sweat pours out your pores.
How much longer will this go on ‘til you can take no more?

Too many times you’ve been burned by products A, B, C,
And so forth that you’re reluctant to try our Product Z,
But even when you try Z, you still have your complaints.
No matter where you look for love, you only find where it ain’t.

Then you start to wonder if that which you’d tried to find
Was even worth looking for in the first place, friend of mine,
Questioning all the while if it was all just a waste of time
Or if you’d chanced to miss out on something truly sublime

That happened to leave the scene once upon a time ‘til one day
It all comes soaring back as quickly as it’d gone away.
Alas, that thing has yet to return, if it’d ever been there at all,
Else why would you be here lamenting that which you used to love fall?

It’s a sad state of affairs, friend. That even I can say,
Lest chance you’re merely overreacting to how things are today,
For I doubt things are quite as bas as you make them out to be.
Then again, you’ve been so badly burned that you’ll never believe me.

Trust me. I’ve been burned, too, time after time again
To the point where I’ve been left begging for how things were back when,
And I hadn’t any patience left, if any at all, in fact,
And the fecal matter I’d been watching wasn’t worth a heart attack.

In short, then, I don’t blame you for turning your back on this mess
For fear of putting yourself through unnecessary distress.
I think you’re being hasty, though, and should give things more of a chance
Before disowning your love altogether and leaving the dance.

Besides, knowing how you operate, you’ll be back any way
Just like so many other folks in your position these days
Because you can’t let go of it all on account of something deep
Inside of you that controls you, no matter if you’re awake or asleep

And makes you keep coming back to that which you both love and hate—
One day the one, the next the other…forever you debate.
No matter how much you want to leave it for good, you never can
In the surely vain hope it’ll improve, and all I can tell you, man,

Is that you do you, for all I can do is give you advice
Concerning your situation, which I can clearly see ain’t nice.
Stay or leave forever, then, but whichever path you choose,
Keep in mind what you’ll gain from each path and what you stand to lose.

Good luck either way on the path you take, whichever one it’ll be.
I’m sure you’ll stand by your decision and hope you’ll soon see
The outcome you desire for the product you once loved.
After all, it’s come to fit you like a hand inside a glove.

*****

Author Pages: Smashwords.com
                         Amazon.com
                         Amazon.co.uk

Poem of the Week: Protest Against Corporate Wrestling

Protest Against Corporate Wrestling
December 6, 2018

Why do I even bother? Why do I even care?
Why do I pay attention to that which goes nowhere?
Why did I ever love that which has never loved me back?
Whatever the case, I’d better stop before it all fades to black.
Life’s short enough as it is to be living in misery,
So why am I bothering with this tripe I keep tuning in to see?
The big wigs know they’ll never dip below two million hits,
Even when they churn out a product that treats their audience like twits
With lame comedy, complete with toilet humor, in between fights
And the same tired bits with the same players night after night after night
Playing characters who betray their casting for no reason at all
Other than the fact that the writers somehow aren’t on the ball–
Characters otherwise so bland and predictable that it hurts
For all but those with low expectations or ignorant little squirts.
It’s all for an audience of two, both of whom are in denial
Of the downfall of their product on account of their acting senile,
For many are the pundits and fans who’re fed up with this trash,
No matter how many supporters still willingly fork over their cash
Rather than support alternatives that shy away from pandering
And utilize straight-forward formulas to which I’ve been meandering,
And though these products have flaws of their own, I must admit,
At least there’s some effort put into them that doesn’t leave me throwing fits.
At least they make the effort to show something I haven’t seen
Or something I have, but in a different way, if you know what I mean.
At least they dare to be different and respect the art upon which
They’ve based themselves upon, thus prompting me to make a switch.
No more will I let some billionaire half-ass his way towards
Greatness with a product that’s clearly not worthy of reward.
No more will I let others tell me what’s treasure or trash.
I’m a grown man with a mind of my own that won’t settle for hash—
Especially that which kills my braincells second by second each sitting.
Such a fate for me I simply no longer see as fitting.
To the alternatives, then, I shall from now on dedicate my time.
Goodbye, then, corporate nonsense. I’ll no more have your cheese with my wine,
For I shall whine no more—only dine upon high quality.
After all, if I’m to be happy, such is how things must be.

*****

Author Pages: Smashwords.com
                         Amazon.com
                         Amazon.co.uk

Poem of the Week: Wrestling Fans of the 2010s

Wrestling Fans in the 2010s
January 29, 2018

Immature, spoiled rotten, thinking they know everything,
Crapping on whom they don’t like, hoping they feel the sting
Of their spiteful words as they pour out their foul, faux-macho maws,
Slamming all who disagree with them, insulting all without pause,
Thinking they’re somehow entitled to see things play only their way,
Screaming and crying and breaking things when their favorites don’t seize the day,
Threatening others’ lives for receiving attention they don’t deserve
From the upper brass for this reason or that…it’s all absurd!
No longer can we enjoy the art that others already scoff at,
For these arrogant, narcissistic brats are smashing it quite flat,
Doing their part in killing off that which they claim to love,
And it’s time for an intervention to descend from up above
And put these overcompensating know-it-alls in their place
Before professional wrestling they further disgrace.
The bitching and bickering’s gotten old, right down to the “smark” shaming
And the bashing of “vanilla midgets” who’ve long been butts of blaming
For the alleged assassination of an industry once held dear
When bookers and promoters, too, have made the sane fans fear
The dying of an entertainment form that once used to be big
Until the spring of 2001 when its backbone snapped like a twig.
Ever since then, many have tried to bring the scene back to life,
Only to make like Victor Frankenstein and bring on more strife
With their monstrous creations, many of which have died out
In no time at all, thus showing the world what the struggle is all about
When even the people behind the curtain being out of touch
With what once made pro wrestling great for everyone and such.
Sure, times have changed, and not for the better, but that doesn’t mean
We can’t pull things together so that something good can be seen.
Everyone of us needs to shape up and adopt a better mood
If we want pro wrestling to move on and evolve with the times, dude.
Let’s all knock off the trolling, the fanboyism, and all the rest,
For constructive positivity is what this business needs best.
Let’s tell these promoters what we want and show that we care
And support those who show the effort in their quest to go somewhere.
Only then will we receive anything close to what we once knew
And help wrestling breathe life back into itself before it’s all through,
And once that change at last happens, oh what a relief it’ll be
To see pro wrestling thrive again for the likes of you and me
And persist for generations down the line ‘til the human race
No longer exists. Until then, though, things will stay a disgrace
With all the crap we’re pulling now, lest we all grow up and move on,
And I’m sure there are others like me who are sick of this same old song.
Alas, I can only change myself in the wake of this idiocy,
And quite frankly ‘midst such nonsense is nowhere I’d like to be.
Will wrestling fans as a collective whole wise up? I can only hope.
All I know is that I’ll keep my own head on my straight and not be a dope.

*****

Author Pages: Smashwords.com
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                         Amazon.co.uk