At the risk of sounding sappy or self-pitying and without going into any greater detail than necessary, I would like to dedicate the following poem to anyone who ever knew me in real life whom I may have wronged one way or another. Let it be known that I have since wised up since those days and have taken greater strides in becoming a much better person than I was back then and that I will continue making such strides from here on out, no matter what my final destination might be in my life. Granted, I wish I was much wiser back then and never made such errors in judgment in the first place, but while I cannot undo what I’ve already done, the least I can do is hold myself to a greater standard and not repeat those same mistakes and risk hurting more people than I already have. I’m therefore sorry, and even if you don’t forgive me, I hope you enjoy the following poem all the same.
Dustin M. Weber
Mistakes: An Apology to All Whom I’ve Wronged in the Past
March 26, 2020
Life is full of mistakes,
And many are those that we make.
Lord knows I’ve made mine,
And quite frankly, my hind’s
Been long hurting in their wake,
And while none of them involved drinking,
They all still involved little thinking,
If any at all,
And still up a wall
The mem’ries of which drive me, winking
At me in my mind with cruel eyes
Mockingly, promising not to die,
Reminding me each day
In their sinister way
Of the clueless oaf that was I,
And it’s with that remorse and regret
I have for what I’ve done, and yet,
Such sorrow alone
Won’t save my bones
From rotting in Hell, so I fret.
Why did I commit those crimes?
What was wrong with that young head of mine?
My folks taught me better,
Come fair or foul weather,
And yet, I couldn’t walk a straight line?
Sure, it’s from mistakes we learn,
But why in the first place must you burn?
Sometimes it’s better to
Know better ‘fore you
Make your or others’ lives take ill turns.
Such is what I’ve come to discover
Long ago the hard way, brother,
And if I at all could,
Heaven knows I would
Reset my life and start another.
Alas, life’s no video game,
So such good fortune I’ll never gain.
Thus, I do what I can
To be a better man
Than before, hoping all the same
For any chance to come along
In which I can come back and be strong
And bear myself anew
After all I’ve been through
By my own hand and say so long
To the idiot I once was
And at long last kill the buzz
In my head left and right
Each day and night
Of the times I was an utter scuzz.
Even if those I’ve hurt in the past
Will never forgive my dumb ass,
I won’t blame them at all,
For I’ve taken my fall
And yearn to rise at long last.
Let the demon I once was expire
And my new self be born from the fire,
For as boys become men,
So shall I be one, friend,
And may my nightmares at last retire.
We’re all told that we’re not our mistakes,
‘Specially if bad habits we break.
Well, if that logic’s true,
Then let it see me through
And let me show I’ve got what it takes
To be the man I’m supposed to be:
A man of great integrity
Upon whom folks can trust,
Come Heaven or bust
Be a credit where I chance to be—
A hard worker, honest and fair
With insight and wisdom to spare,
Strong in spine, heart, and mind
And in all three combined
When they form my soul, hopefully fair.
May my past be a past forgotten,
For though ‘tis true I’ve been rotten,
I can ripen again,
As have so many men
Following the deeds they’ve begotten.
May all whom I’ve hurt know well
That I’m sorry for the fates that fell
Upon them by my will
And that no further swill
Shall I bother heaping ‘pon them from Hell.
That past self of mine is long gone,
And these days, I sing a new song,
And from here on out,
From the roof shall I shout
It out and hope it won’t be long
‘Fore I at last redeem myself
And put my past back on its shelf,
No more to be
A pain to you or me
Or, frankly, to anyone else.
Author Pages: Smashwords.com