Poem of the Week: Retro-Reviewing Egomaniac

Retro-Reviewing Egomania
July 4, 2017

Talk, talk, talk—that’s what you like to do,
But little did you realize, friend,
That the more you open your mouth, the further in your foot
Goes in to choke you out in the end.

You sit there on your ass, flaunting your accomplishments,
Claiming superiority where you please,
Proudly sporting your fauxhawk, neckbeard, and thick-rimmed specs
As you ridicule others’ childhood memories.

“Oh, wow! What a lazy premise! What a shameless rip-off!
What cheesy music and animation!
I can’t believe folks actually watched this back in the day.”
Such is what you spew across the nation.

“Good grief! What a hokey scene! What a way to throw logic
Out the window just to tell a story.”
Hey, you’re the one who bothered digging up trash
From the past to show the world in all its glory.

Honestly, do you think we don’t know trash when we see it
With our own eyes and hear with our own ears,
Especially when it’s been out long enough for ourselves
To witness with embarrassment and fear?

Do you really think we need some snarky, immature know-it-all
Showing and telling what we can find out
Ourselves without any guidance? Please! Stop with the insults
‘Cause that’s what you seem to be all about,

So spend your free time doing something far more constructive
And meaningful in the long run of it all
Like warning us of the crap that’s been flooding the mainstream
Today before society further falls

Into ruin just as you claim it had back in the day
With the ages-old dreck you bash presently.
Seriously, you think the past sucked? Well, today’s not much better.
Just look around you, and you’ll see.

Once you do, I hope you at last come to see the light
And put your supposed knowledge to the test
To purge the world of ignorance—hopefully forever—
And put the media’s faults to rest.

Take the hint, then, cocky boy, and clean up your act.
Stop ragging on that which has long past
And do all you can to help us all move forward
And craft memories meant to last.


Author Pages: Smashwords.com

Poem of the Week: Of All Nights

Of All Nights
September 10, 2016

Of all nights for the aerial to die,
The night my show’s on has to be the night.
Thanks a lot, stupid storming summer sky!

Just came home from work, hung my coat to dry,
Sat down to watch some televised delight.
Of all nights for the aerial to die…

Wind, rain, and lightning streaked across the sky,
Clipping branches and power lines one night.
Thanks a lot, stupid storming summer sky!

That was already a while ago. Why
Should that in any way mess up my night?
Of all nights for the aerial to die…

Has the antenna unhinged? Is that why
I can’t watch any TV shows tonight?
Thanks a lot, stupid storming summer sky!

Tomorrow, I guess, to the roof I fly
To see if I can somehow set things right.
Of all nights for the aerial to die…
Thanks a lot, stupid stormy summer sky!


Author Pages: Smashwords.com

Bonus Poem of the Week: Blissful Ignorance (A Haiku Chain to Help Me Get Over a Really Stupid TV Show I Once Saw as a Kid)

Blissful Ignorance (A Haiku Chain to Help Me Get Over a Really Stupid TV Show I Once Saw as a Kid)
August 20, 2016

No regard for the
Lore, sloppy animation,
And mindless writing—
Such was the nature
Of the story I’m trying
To forget from years
Ago in the past
That I was dumb enough to
Watch in the first place.
Why I ever tried
Watching that trash, I can but
Guess, not know for fact.
Maybe it was my
Penchant to give new things a
Chance that did me in
‘Long with my boredom
In the “same old thing” I’d seen
Too much of back then.
Maybe it was plain
Morbid curiosity
That drew me to it
Like a moth to flame
Or like the masses to a
Chuck Lorre sitcom.
Maybe I was just
What I’ve nowadays come to
Hate: a mindless drone
Who watches that which
He’s told to, like so many
Kids are thought to be—
Not that kids are dumb
By default, but many kids
Happen to be so.
I sure was in that
I tried to find some kind of
Merit in the thing
And stuck around for
Some time, yet come up empty-
Handed ev’ry time
I tried to fish for
Anything that would prove the
Show was any good.
My memory since
Has been tainted by its mere
Existence, and I
Can’t seem to get it
Out of my head no matter
How hard I’ve tried, for
No matter what I
Say or do, the memory
Will linger. What’s worse:
I brought all this crap
Upon myself simply by
Checking out their dreck
In the first damn place,
Leaving myself alone to
Blame for the nightmares
That fester within
My brain today even as
I write this message,
Haunting, lingering,
Pestering me…all ‘cause I
Just had to answer
The call to check out
Something I was better off
Leaving well alone.
Don’t be like I was.
Don’t let curiosity
Let you do dumb crap.
Know crap when you see
It and let it be before
It takes over your
Mind and leaves you with
Bad memories that no one
Should have to ensure.
Take it from me: Crap
Stinks, no matter the smell, and
Should be avoided
At all costs, lest you
Want the same jaded mindset
With which I’m dealing.
Trust me…it’s not worth
It. Instead, live your life in
Blissful ignorance.

PS: Bonus points and bragging rights to he or she who can name the TV show I’m referencing in the poem above. 😉


Author Pages: Smashwords.com

Bonus Poem of the Week: Something Has Got to Change

Something Has Got to Change
October 5, 2015

It’s not about talent anymore. It’s not about sharing a gift.
It’s not about doing what it takes to give the business a lift.
It’s not about working hard or being original or having fun.
It’s about pandering to the lowest common denominator, hon.

Gone are the gritty gladiators who scratch and claw their way
To the top of the mountain that’s their field. Apparently, that’s passé.
Instead, we have whiny men-children who cry about their life lot
Who spend most of their time wallowing in nostalgia, self-pity, and snot.

Damned be the innocent romance so charming and heartfelt.
Why bother with wholesome purity with blatant smut flying off shelves—
The kind that makes even old ladies swoon and rave like teenage girls
Of “dream men” who’re really tortuous beasts ‘neath their boyish curls?

Why bother trying to be witty when you can instead be lewd?
That’s the kind of humor that sells these days: loud and crude.
Why try to be clever and subtle when you can shock the masses
And be an insensitive creep all you want to appeal to other jackasses?

Gone are those who’ve moved things forward with tales vibrant and fresh,
Putting new spins on what we know and crafty notions to the test.
Instead, we’ve more of the same old sludge clogging up our brain pipes—
Recycled rubbish from just yesterday—fad-fueled, self-dating tripe.

What happened to the revolution? Where’s all the spark and fire?
Where are the courage and drive that once took entertainment higher?
Where’s the reward for taking a risk and being open and true?
Trust me, if you think these practices still matter, I’ve news for you:

It’s all about making money these days—the good ol’ Almighty Dollar—
And getting the masses to speak of you, no matter how it is they holler.
Who cares how you get your attention when folks foolishly get behind
That which satisfies their shrunken standards and pleases their warped minds?

That’s how things have gotten now, and yeah, it sickens me, too,
When people buy crap for purchasing’s sake just ‘cause said crap is new
And read, watch, and listen to anything just to fill in the void
Of whatever idle time they have, and what’s more that gets me annoyed

Is how the truly wonderful works of each same industry
Are ignored by the masses and media both—which also includes you and me—
Never to see the light of day, save for maybe those who try
To root for them through the dirt and ensure their legends never die.

This pattern has got to stop somehow. Something has got to change.
Entertainment’s been trash for far too long and must be rearranged
So that the hacks who’ve become millionaires can stop hogging the sun
And talented folks can take over and produce quality works for everyone.

After all, many are wising up to the swill they’ve been fed
For so many years, and they, too, now wish this era was dead.
Sadly, there are still many who don’t see the warning signs
Of what may soon be, should we all leave our principles behind.

It’s thus up to all of us to ensure the quality of old return
And that into Hell’s fires go all the trash, forever to burn
Into naught but a mound of ash, for that’s how they should be
So that talent once again shines for all time. Now, who’s with me?


Author Pages: Smashwords.com



Poem of the Week: Wake-Up Call 2014 for Entertainment Supporters

Hello, readers!

For Heaven knows how many years now, the world of entertainment—books, television, cinema, music, and, at times, even video games—has been swimming in a pool of mediocrity based on both corporations’ fixation with profit and the masses’ ever-decreasing standards concerning the products they support. Even I can only imagine just how many hard-working and talented authors, musicians, screen writers, and game designers have struggled for months, years, and even decades only to have various publishers, studios, agents, and such dismiss their work as being worthless in favor of that which has proven to be little else than utter, indefensible trash by critics and audiences alike, yet has proven just as much to make oodles of money for the party/parties responsible for its very existence. Thankfully, not every movie, novel, album, TV program, and video game of questionable repute has proven to be a success, and I cannot help but exhale a sigh of relief every time I hear of some tacky, degrading, or simply lazily made product failing to achieve the success its makers had hoped for it. Unfortunately, one can also say the same for every product into which the creator(s) has/have put a lot of thought and effort, which makes me shake my head and wonder just how much certain people’s tastes have devolved in the past decade or two. Granted, decades past have produced their fair share of garbage as well, but thankfully, the passage of time has cleansed our collective memory of such shoddy work…that is, of course, until someone dares to remind us of such rubbish (e.g., chancing to see such an item on sale at a flea market or on a shopping website such as eBay or Amazon.com)

Regardless, thoughts of such a notion have inspired me to create the following Shakespearean sonnet, which I hope reflects what some of you might be thinking as well concerning 21st century media as we all know it. Without further ado, then, here’s Wake-Up Call 2014 for Entertainment Supporters. Enjoy!


Wake-Up Call 2014 for Entertainment Supporters
September 2, 2014

How can something wretched attain great fame
And fortune in its mediocrity
When stuff exists that’s nowhere near as lame
Out there for the masses to hear and see?
Why can’t people smell stool for what it is
And move on to what they genuinely
Can perceive to be good within the biz
Of entertainment, messed-up though it be?
Why support a blatant, obvious hack
With the cash you’ve worked oh so hard to earn
When you know said hack’s work is naught but whack
And in the end will leave you oh so burned?
It’s time to toss the trash once and for all
‘Fore it further contributes to our fall.


This hereby concludes this week’s poem. Thank you all for stopping by to read it, and if there’s any chance that any of you out there know of a particular movie, novel, TV show, et cetera out on the market today that you feel deserves much less praise/much more criticism than it has received, please don’t hesitate to leave a rant about it in the comments section below. I’m sure we all can recall at least one certain something that we cannot understand is as popular as it is/has been for whatever reason. Also, feel free to visit my author pages at Smashwords.comAmazon.com, and Amazon.co.uk to see which works I have available for purchase as well as my post on this blog about my latest project, The Kingdom of Somnia, to see if it is a project you would like to support, should it ever hit the market. Otherwise, folks, happy reading!

Dustin M. Weber

Poem of the Week: Why I Hate [Certain] 21st Century Sitcoms

Hello, readers!

Just decided to post a quick poem describing a few things that tick me off about a certain genre of 21st century television as inspired by chancing upon one of the worst television shows I’ve ever seen created this past couple of decades the other night. Please enjoy, and thanks in advance for your continued support!


Why I Hate [Certain] 21st Century Sitcoms
May 24, 2014

Recorded laughter that gets in the way,
Telling me that which I’m to find funny;
Modernized yet spent plots from yesterday,
Recycled solely for sponsors’ money;
Characters with whom I can’t sympathize,
Self-absorbed and obnoxious to a T,
Played by folks whom I’ll never idolize—
Loaded, but still whom I don’t want to be;
Humor that panders to the lowest form
Of intelligence humanity has—
A bitter, sneering, mean-spirited norm
On which long ago, I’d chosen to pass.
A long, deep scar on entertainment’s face,
Once enjoyable, now a sad disgrace.


Author Pages: Smashwords.com



Poem of the Week: Hope for the Future of Media

Hope for the Future of Media
July 25, 2013

Moving on,
Moving ahead,
Ahead with new characters,
Ahead with new stars—
Stars with personality,
Stars with talent—
Talent that will take them far,
Talent that rings true with fans—
Fans who see the effort,
Fans who appreciate the effort,
The effort of the players,
The effort of the writers—
Writers who have talent of their own,
Writers who know what they’re doing,
Doing what they can,
Doing what’s right—
Right for the future,
Right for the industry,
Industry that’s shot to Hell,
Industry that’s been dying—
Dying for a change,
Dying for a renewal,
Renewal for a new generation,
Renewal for a greater good.
Good riddance to the rubbish of the present!
Good luck to the venues of the future,
Future saviors,
Future salvation,
Salvation from redundancy,
Salvation from foolishness—
Foolishness of the tasteless,
Foolishness of the greedy,
Greedy for attention,
Greedy for money—
Money that they don’t deserve,
Money that could be spent on something greater—
Greater for the masses,
Greater for the world as a whole—
Whole world in need of change,
Whole world that’s been ready for change.
Change can be good.
Change is sometimes a necessity.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Necessity can be a great driving force—
Force enough to shake things up,
Force enough to bring about what we’ve all been clamoring for…
For a better tomorrow…
For a future that’s bright…


Author Pages: Smashwords.com



Poem of the Week: Rise Up and Make a Change

Rise Up and Make a Change

October 12, 2012


Nobody likes the same old song and dance.

No one likes being stuck in the doldrums,

But when it comes to other people’s plans,

All they ever offer are hos and hums.

It’s as if no one dares to shake things up.

Nobody has the heart to take a stand.

No wonder, then, things aren’t quite up to snuff

In any industry across the land.

If only people had more of a will

To change the state of things for everyone

And not just settle with things and sit still,

Then who knows how ev’rything will become?

The time for complaining has got to end.

It’s time to rise up and make a change, friends!

My author page at Smashwords.com

Twitter: @DustinMWeber