Poem of the Week: I Don’t Know When

I Don’t Know When
May 31, 2017

Over and over and over again,
Fed the same old stuff since I don’t know when:

The same folks in the same spots as before…
When they’ll try something new, I don’t know when.

The same damn games they’d played four years ago…
When they’ll play diff’rent games, I don’t know when.

Not trusting the crowd to anticipate
The next scene ever since I don’t know when,

Using celebrities few care to see
Over their own cast since I don’t know when,

Starting and stopping each season midway
For no good reason since I don’t know when—

All these things and more ruining that which I
Used to love back then since I don’t know when

With no sign of change for better in sight,
Leaving things a mess since I don’t know when.

Guess what, though: Why should I sit here, complain,
And demand things change when I don’t know when

I’ll ever be heard and things will in fact
Change for the better when I don’t know when

Those who’ve come before me will have their words
Taken into account? I don’t know when.

Instead, then, I’ll just leave my TV off
Until things improve, though I don’t know when

That will be or even if it ever
Happens. It’s one big guess. I don’t know when,

But if the show finally gets cancelled,
Then oh well…bye-bye…though I don’t know when…

Or if the thing will at long last improve.
All I know’s I’ve left…and I do know when.

*****

Author Pages: Smashwords.com
                         Amazon.com
                         Amazon.co.uk

Hoedown of the Week: A Whose Line Hoedown on Whose Line Hoedowns

Hey, readers!

For those of you who are fans of Whose Line Is It Anyway?, chances are that you probably already know of its return to CW television within four weeks from today (May 29, 2017). On that note, I think I’d like to take this moment to try my hand at another Hoedown of the Week in commemoration of the event. I can promise you, too, that I’ve improved since last time when it comes to writing these things.

Also, be sure that to leave a reply to suggest what topic you’d like me to cover next time if you’re interested in seeing more hoedowns in the future. Who knows? Maybe I’ll have enough material to make this segment last all month up to Whose Line‘s US Season 13 premiere. It all depends, though, upon your feedback.

As for Whose Line itself, good luck with this season. I sure know that I’m looking forward to you shaking things up and keeping your format loose and fresh in the name of quality improvisational comedy.

At any rate, folks, enjoy!

*****

Hoedown of the Week: A Whose Line Hoedown on Whose Line Hoedowns
April 30, 2017

Well, I’m no fan of hoedowns. I hate their cheesy beat,
Even though it makes me stand up and shuffle my feet
‘Cause when we’re done performing, I can’t get it out of my head.
In fact, the tune haunts me so much, it makes me wish I was dead.

I don’t know why the others hate hoedowns with such a passion.
When I’m done cutting my verse, I feel a sense of satisfaction.
Thus, when it comes to playing this game, I’m not at all annoyed.
In fact, it’s just one more reason to keep Laura Hall employed.

I! Hate! Hoedowns! I refuse to sing ‘em by choice.
I’ll be damned if I ever lend them my golden voice,
Especially when I hear a bald joke (Yeah, like I don’t know…),
Though if I dare hear one more bald joke, I’m really gonna go.

Well, hello, everybody. My name is Ryan Stiles.
I’ve secretly loved hoedowns for quite a long while.
I like to sing ‘em like Michael Bolton or the Brothers Gibb,
And when I’m done, Drew tucks me into my special little crib.

*****

Thanks for reading, everyone, and as always, be sure to check out my author pages at Smashwords.com, Amazon.com, and Amazon.co.uk. Your support means a lot to me, no matter what form it comes in. Likewise, here’s hoping to a great fifth season of Whose Line Is It Anyway? on the CW and to a great remainder of 2017 as a whole!

Regards,
Dustin M. Weber

*****

PS: Credit for the pic used above goes to TheCWWhoseLine.Tumblr.com. The poem itself, however, is the author’s own.

Bonus Poem of the Week: Whatever Happened to Comedy?

Hello, readers!

The following poem is hereby dedicated to a topic that has been bugging me for a long time—so long, in fact, that I can’t even tell the year when I first noticed the problem I wish to discuss. At any rate, if there’s any chance any of you agree with the point of view I’m expressing here and would like to voice your opinion as well on the matter, feel free to leave a response in the comments section below or even make a response article on your own blog concerning the matter. Maybe you see something that I’ve neglected to mention. Counterarguments are are welcome, too, from those of you who see the other side of the story. Either way, here’s my latest composition, Whatever Happened to Comedy? Please enjoy!

*****

Whatever Happened to Comedy?
April 15, 2014

Remember back in the old days after a long, hard week
Having a drink and turning on your TV as you took a seat
To watch comedic masters ply their trade before your eyes
And make you laugh at their words and deeds ‘til they hurt your sides?

Even when things were cheesy, they were nonetheless fun,
And come Hell or high water, they sent folks’ troubles on the run.
Such was when things were simpler and humor was light-hearted,
And though I hate to say it, those days have long since departed.

For far too long, after all, there’s been an unsettling trend,
And sadly, at the rate things have been going, there seems to be no end
To the deluge of lewdness we’ve had thrown in our collective face,
And it sickens me to see how much comedy has been disgraced.

Gone are the wit and wisdom we’ve experienced in years past,
For all too often, it’s been the cheap gags out of which folks get a blast.
Gone is the clever wordplay that people used to enjoy,
And in its place, many a blatant F- and S-bomb has been deployed.

Gone are the sight gags that were actually cannily executed—
The outfits and gestures for which comedy was once reputed.
Now it’s all about mock violence and gore, vomit, poo-poo, and pee-pee—
Not to mention the obtrusive “shock” of random nudity.

Gone are the quiet reflections on the world that were sharp and wry,
And in their place are screaming blabbermouths who don’t even try.
Apparently, all one needs to do is scream like a rabid baboon
In a “crazy” voice in order to get today’s comedy fans to swoon.

Don’t get me started, either, on the many real-life tragedies
That some comics have exploited and made fun of as they pleased
With no regard for the construction of the jokes they’d chosen to tell
Or the likelihood of protesters rightfully damning them to Hell.

So little is shrewd or inventive; the rest is downright juvenile,
And it makes me wonder how any of this trash can make one smile.
Worse yet, it’s been like this for years. How many, I can but guess,
But I’ll tell you this, everybody: I miss the comedy I knew best.

The effort is gone from comedy these days, and it makes me mad.
It’s all randomness, idiocy, and shock value now, and that’s sad,
For this kind of comedy ages quickly, and never like wine, but like cheese,
And if something doesn’t happen soon, the genre will be brought to its knees.

It’s up to tomorrow’s comics, then, to take matters in their hands
And return comedy to what it once was, for now is its final stand,
And only wit and ingenuity will help turn the tide
Before the comedy we all once knew finally up and dies.

There’s no need to stretch the boundaries of good taste, for that’s one reason
Why simple and more universal humor’s no longer in season.
We’ve too much raunch as matters stand—too much schlock as a whole.
Thus, cleverness is the key to helping this genre crawl out of its hole.

Only time will tell, however, if such a change of pace
Will take place or if comedy will forever be disgraced.
Do tomorrow’s comics thus have what it takes to stand and face
This downfall of comedy and finally put it in its place?

*****

That should do it for today. Thank you all for stopping by, and again, please don’t hesitate in expressing your concerns and feeling regarding what passes for comedy today. Am I seeing things in the right light? Am I missing out on something? Don’t be afraid to let me know either way. Also, be sure to visit my author pages at Smashwords.com, Amazon.com, and Amazon.co.uk for more about me and my current literary works when you have the chance. Be sure to keep on the lookout, too, for the latest news concerning my latest project,The Kingdom of Somnia. In the meantime, everyone, as always, happy reading!

Regards,
Dustin M. Weber

Poem of the Week: Suddenly…Improv!

How are you, readers?

This week’s “Poem of the Week” marks my first official attempt at a sestina here on my blog and mentions–at least in part–an interest of mine that I have long had and have recently been rekindling, and in no small part at that due to the news I’ve come to read about Whose Line Is It Anyway? coming back on the air this coming July 16 on the CW Television Network. Without wasting any more time, then, here’s Suddenly…Improv! Please enjoy!

*****

 Suddenly…Improv!

April 19, 2013

Dang it! I’ve just realized that I’ve got nothing to say.
Perhaps I’m in need of taking a break.
Here, then…let me step away from the computer for a moment
And see what I can do with some good old-fashioned paper
And pencil, and maybe then I can cleanse my added mind
Of this stagnancy that’s preventing me from completing my work.

Five minutes away from my computer, and my brain’s already starting to work.
At long last, I realize that I do indeed have something to say!
So many thoughts I see dancing ‘round in my mind…
Oh, what a relief it is for me to have taken this break
And see what I can put down on this piece of paper!
Let’s just see, then, what I can come up with at the moment.

Well, as I let my imagination wander for a moment,
I’ve finally come up with a topic that just might work,
And as my pencil leaves its mark upon my paper,
I’ve find that—Holy heck!—I actually have plenty to say.
Hopefully, I can write it all down before my pencil lead decides to break,
For it’s in my better interest to write it down while it’s still fresh in my mind.

You know what it is that has now for me come to mind?
Improv comics and how they can think on the spur of the moment
And create comedy sketches on the spot that make all but the dourest of people break
Into uproarious laughter at them and their work,
From the whimsical actions they do to the bizarre, offbeat things they say,
And all from reading little to nothing that had been prewritten for them on paper.

As these thoughts of mine make their way onto my paper,
I see visions of all the great improv players I’ve come to know come to mind
And all the wacky things they used to do and say
And how oh so long ago I could be able to sit back for a moment
Or two and laugh to my heart’s content at their work.
Truly, such a session proved back then to be a fun little break.

Now I’m coming upon the end of my break,
And as I’m wrapping up all that I’ve been putting down on this paper,
I feel as though I can now focus upon more pressing work,
Feeling renewed by the lesson that has just now penetrated my mind
About improvisation and making the most out of any given moment
To show the world precisely what it is that I have to say.

Well, that’s all I have to say. I’m now done with my break.
Now, pardon me for a moment while I fold up this paper,
For now I’ve got a good mind to get back to work.

*****

And there we have it: my first official sestina on AuthorDustinWeber.Wordpress.com. Hopefully, I’ve done both improvisational comedy and the common sestina justice with this composition. If not, any and all constructive criticism will be welcome. At any rate, though, thank you all once again for stopping by, and as always, be sure to check out my author pages at Smashwords.com, Amazon.com, and Amazon.co.uk to check out my current list of publications. Aside from that, let’s all keep our fingers crossed for a successful season of Whose Line Is It Anyway? this coming summer, and until we meet again, happy reading!

Regards,
Dustin M. Weber