Hoedown of the Week: A Whose Line Hoedown on Whose Line Hoedowns

Hey, readers!

For those of you who are fans of Whose Line Is It Anyway?, chances are that you probably already know of its return to CW television within four weeks from today (May 29, 2017). On that note, I think I’d like to take this moment to try my hand at another Hoedown of the Week in commemoration of the event. I can promise you, too, that I’ve improved since last time when it comes to writing these things.

Also, be sure that to leave a reply to suggest what topic you’d like me to cover next time if you’re interested in seeing more hoedowns in the future. Who knows? Maybe I’ll have enough material to make this segment last all month up to Whose Line‘s US Season 13 premiere. It all depends, though, upon your feedback.

As for Whose Line itself, good luck with this season. I sure know that I’m looking forward to you shaking things up and keeping your format loose and fresh in the name of quality improvisational comedy.

At any rate, folks, enjoy!


Hoedown of the Week: A Whose Line Hoedown on Whose Line Hoedowns
April 30, 2017

Well, I’m no fan of hoedowns. I hate their cheesy beat,
Even though it makes me stand up and shuffle my feet
‘Cause when we’re done performing, I can’t get it out of my head.
In fact, the tune haunts me so much, it makes me wish I was dead.

I don’t know why the others hate hoedowns with such a passion.
When I’m done cutting my verse, I feel a sense of satisfaction.
Thus, when it comes to playing this game, I’m not at all annoyed.
In fact, it’s just one more reason to keep Laura Hall employed.

I! Hate! Hoedowns! I refuse to sing ‘em by choice.
I’ll be damned if I ever lend them my golden voice,
Especially when I hear a bald joke (Yeah, like I don’t know…),
Though if I dare hear one more bald joke, I’m really gonna go.

Well, hello, everybody. My name is Ryan Stiles.
I’ve secretly loved hoedowns for quite a long while.
I like to sing ‘em like Michael Bolton or the Brothers Gibb,
And when I’m done, Drew tucks me into my special little crib.


Thanks for reading, everyone, and as always, be sure to check out my author pages at Smashwords.com, Amazon.com, and Amazon.co.uk. Your support means a lot to me, no matter what form it comes in. Likewise, here’s hoping to a great fifth season of Whose Line Is It Anyway? on the CW and to a great remainder of 2017 as a whole!

Dustin M. Weber


PS: Credit for the pic used above goes to TheCWWhoseLine.Tumblr.com. The poem itself, however, is the author’s own.


8 thoughts on “Hoedown of the Week: A Whose Line Hoedown on Whose Line Hoedowns

  1. By the way, people, don’t forget to leave a reply to suggest a topic for my next Hoedown of the Week, should you like this segment. It all adds to the whole “improv” flavor of the segment. Thanks in advance, and take care!


    • How about fair-weather friends? Honestly, what’s wrong with your fanbase, dude? Why aren’t they slamming the “Like” button more than they are? These verses you wrote were actually kinda clever.

    • Why not a hoedown on Whose Line FINALLY getting rid of the “celebrity guest” bit that they’ve been dong since their CW debut? Seriously, so many people have complained about this garbage for so long and the CW refusing to abolish this gimmick for good to let Wayne, Ryan, Colin, and the rotating players just do their thing. If nothing else, at least vent about that.

      • That’s not a bad topic at all…save for the fact that there have been quite a few guest stars (some of them being pretty controversial, too, like Willie Robertson from Duck Dynasty) who’ve actually helped elevate the show’s ratings, according to TVSeriesFinale.com. Meanwhile, this same website has reported that the episodes without a special guest star and with Kegan-Michael Key as the “fourth-seater” have actually garnered rather low ratings—arguably the lowest for each season. Not fair, I know, but if fans really want to combat the whole “celebrity guest” thing, they owe it to themselves to at the very least watch the guest-free episodes for themselves directly off their TV sets without exception and only boycott the episodes with a guest if they feel so inclined.

        Personally, though, I think that the real problem with Whose Line has to do with the overall variety of the show, of which the whole “celebrity guest” thing is but a mere part. I’d certainly like to see some new games brought into the mix this coming season—namely, those that we’ve seen before from the program’s ABC and BBC days like “Superheroes,” “Change,” and “Foreign Film Dub”—as well as different people in different spots for the games that they’ve already played before numerous ties, such as the “fourth-seater” actually participating in the dubbing game instead of one of the main three and/or teaming up with Colin or Wayne during the “Props” game rather than with Ryan all the time. Oh…and more games that require suggestions from the audience would help bring back some of that improv flavor that the show’s been lacking in since its CW redebut, too.

        Thanks for your feedback, though. I appreciate it.

    • Oh! Oh! I’ve got a good one:

      The fact that the idiots at the CW can’t just PICK A NIGHT OF THE WEEK TO AIR WHOSE LINE AND LEAVE IT THERE?

      Either that or the fact that they won’t play a full season when summer comes around and end up breaking one season into two parts, leaving us to have to wait until next summer to see the remaining episodes. Seriously, I’m still kinda salty over what they did with their past couple of seasons.

    • Personally, I’d be in favor of a hoedown telling Bart Carfizzi from Facebook to SHUT UP when it comes to Wayne Brady and just let those of us who enjoy Wayne’s talents do just that without having that repetitive, self-entitled, hypocritical manchild whine on and on each year about Wayne “ruining” the show for doing something that ALL of the performers have proven to be guilty of in one way and at one time or another.

      Seriously, fifty bucks says Carfizzi starts going off on Wayne sometime this coming July at the very latest.

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