Had a Thought and Lost It
December 14, 2016
Had a thought and lost it. Boy, what a twist of fate!
Now I’m trying to get it back hours upon hours late.
I should’ve written it down when it popped into my head.
Alas, I never bothered, and now the memory’s dead.
Now my brain is aching, but not solely from being wracked,
But also from the guilt I feel with all the hours I’ve slacked
In recording a single tidbit that I could have now moments back.
Now I’m driving myself nuts trying to get that idea back,
And all the while, my head’s also buzzing with more and more
Ideas for other projects that later on I’ll have in store.
Could it be, though, that my first idea lies amongst them?
Would I even recognize it at all like I did back then?
One would think I would at least. After all, the idea was mine,
Although nowadays I realize just how little left of my mind
Has remained in tact since my younger days, from what I can assume,
And I loathe to think what could’ve made my brain go up in fumes.
Could it have been all the TV and movies I’ve watched back then
Forcing me to drink in the same old stories time and time again?
Could it have been my old teachers not teaching me what they should have
And not feeding me the knowledge from which to thrive as I could have?
Could it have been how late I was in pursuing this career,
Which has yet to bring me what I want year after year after year
Despite it having brought me joy before I turned it into a job
And had but a shred of the talent I’ve developed now? Dull slob!
Do I blame myself alone for not trying to evolve
And making so many problems for myself that I’m to solve?
After all, I know too well that I’m not where I want to be,
And I’m getting sloppier each year in my approach, as you can see.
Take, for instance, all this rambling I’ve been doing for Heaven knows
How long and all because I’d lost something that I no longer know
Would’ve even been a good idea to focus on anymore
In the first place. Oh, the trouble my stupidity’s long had in store!
Ah, but what’s the use in bitching when there’s work to be done?
Another second wasted, and my insecurity’s won.
I’ve got to keep on plugging away and hoping against hope
That my idea will come back to me or, if not, I’ll cope
And produce something else that others will come to enjoy
And will last a lifetime for every man, woman, girl, and boy,
And the next time a new idea happens to pop up in my head,
I’ll be sure then to write it down before the moment’s dead.