Bonus Poem of the Week: Blissful Ignorance (A Haiku Chain to Help Me Get Over a Really Stupid TV Show I Once Saw as a Kid)

Blissful Ignorance (A Haiku Chain to Help Me Get Over a Really Stupid TV Show I Once Saw as a Kid)
August 20, 2016

No regard for the
Lore, sloppy animation,
And mindless writing—
Such was the nature
Of the story I’m trying
To forget from years
Ago in the past
That I was dumb enough to
Watch in the first place.
Why I ever tried
Watching that trash, I can but
Guess, not know for fact.
Maybe it was my
Penchant to give new things a
Chance that did me in
‘Long with my boredom
In the “same old thing” I’d seen
Too much of back then.
Maybe it was plain
Morbid curiosity
That drew me to it
Like a moth to flame
Or like the masses to a
Chuck Lorre sitcom.
Maybe I was just
What I’ve nowadays come to
Hate: a mindless drone
Who watches that which
He’s told to, like so many
Kids are thought to be—
Not that kids are dumb
By default, but many kids
Happen to be so.
I sure was in that
I tried to find some kind of
Merit in the thing
And stuck around for
Some time, yet come up empty-
Handed ev’ry time
I tried to fish for
Anything that would prove the
Show was any good.
My memory since
Has been tainted by its mere
Existence, and I
Can’t seem to get it
Out of my head no matter
How hard I’ve tried, for
No matter what I
Say or do, the memory
Will linger. What’s worse:
I brought all this crap
Upon myself simply by
Checking out their dreck
In the first damn place,
Leaving myself alone to
Blame for the nightmares
That fester within
My brain today even as
I write this message,
Haunting, lingering,
Pestering me…all ‘cause I
Just had to answer
The call to check out
Something I was better off
Leaving well alone.
Don’t be like I was.
Don’t let curiosity
Let you do dumb crap.
Know crap when you see
It and let it be before
It takes over your
Mind and leaves you with
Bad memories that no one
Should have to ensure.
Take it from me: Crap
Stinks, no matter the smell, and
Should be avoided
At all costs, lest you
Want the same jaded mindset
With which I’m dealing.
Trust me…it’s not worth
It. Instead, live your life in
Blissful ignorance.

PS: Bonus points and bragging rights to he or she who can name the TV show I’m referencing in the poem above. 😉


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4 thoughts on “Bonus Poem of the Week: Blissful Ignorance (A Haiku Chain to Help Me Get Over a Really Stupid TV Show I Once Saw as a Kid)

  1. Let me guess: It was that idiotic Wild C.A.T.s cartoon that was on CBS back in 1994-95, right? Ugh! I hated that cartoon so much. I don’t know how any self-respecting comic book fan—especially one who was a fan of Jim Lee’s Wild C.A.T.s—could like that joke of a program. Forget the notion that it was nowhere as respectful to its source material as it should have been (although I can wholeheartedly understand why they would tweak Voodoo’s character, seeing as how “adult-oriented” she was) and didn’t do much of anything to promote the comic book or the characters within its universe, but the writing was TRASH! Episodic progression of the Wild C.A.T.s & Daemonites feud rather than having it be just one big, long arc like it was in the comics; horrible plot development for each individual episode; what looked like to the uninitiated as an out-of-nowhere heel turn for Majestic where he got NO comeuppance for turning on Spartan and the other C.A.T.s OR any clear motivation for turning into a “bad guy” (Read the comics if you get the chance. Those do an INFINITELY better job explaining Majestic’s actions than the stupid cartoon ever could.); dialogue and scenes lifted straight out of the 1994-96 run of the TMNT cartoon (those godawful “Red Sky” episodes) such as Zealot military-pressing Warblade and spinning her above his head during a training session a la Raphael and Rocksteady…I could go on.

    The thing is, too, that the 1990s were Image Comics’ decade—the decade that had put them on the map and arguably THE time for them to have made a name for themselves with the common public the same way Marvel and DC had. The problem was, though, that no thanks in no small part to such bogus moves as Nelvana handling the Wild C.A.T.s cartoon and Playmates Interactive Entertainment handling the C.A.T.s SNES video game in 1995 (in which they rushed its production for a system that was already going out of style by that point and thus ended up making one of the most sub-par beat-’em-ups the SNES has ever had), Image never received the attention and appreciation that they deserved, and Jim Lee’s WildStorm Productions soon began to experience a decline in comic book sales to the point where Jim Lee himself had to sell his company to DC in 1998, only to have his brand go defunct in 2010. Such a shame, too, because even today—or maybe ESPECIALLY today, considering on how you look at the present entertainment scene—Marvel and DC could use some solid competition, and there was once a time in which I at least thought Image (and, to a smaller degree, Malibu Comics) had a shred of a chance in making that kind of a mark. Laugh at me all you want, but that’s my opinion, and I’m sticking to it.

    • Bingo! The bragging rights are yours, my friend. ;D

      Yeah, I hate admitting it, but as much as I wanted the Wild C.A.T.s cartoon to succeed and to immerse myself in the lore of the comic book series, it’d become all too obvious to me since day one that the cartoon was a waste of time, effort, and other resources. I wasn’t even a teenager yet, nor was I the slightest bit versed in the Wild C.A.T.s comic at the time, but I was willing to give it a chance. I’ve always loved action cartoons, after all, simply for the imagination that the creators put into them. The 1980s in particular had a slew of them, and even though 80s cartoons in general get a lot of flack for most of them being created as a means to sell toys, that doesn’t mean that there wasn’t at least some effort put into a good chunk of them as far as storytelling was concerned. Sadly, that same kind of storytelling wasn’t present in the Wild C.A.T.s cartoon at all. I couldn’t connect with any of the characters no matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted to like them…and now look at them: completely merged with the rest of the DC Universe. To think, too, that the C.A.T.s used to be a part of their own universe along with the likes of such other superhero comics as Wetworks, Gen13, Stormwatch, The Authority, and Midnighter before DC more or less fazed them out. Such a shame…

    • In all due fairness, X-Men: The Animated Series took its fair share of creative liberties with the continuity of the X-Men comics, and people still consider it to be an overall great cartoon. That alone should prove that adaptations of popular media need NOT be identical to the original product.

      I see what you mean, though. WildC.A.T.s was a mere couple of years old by the time Nelvana’s WildC.A.T.s cartoon first aired on CBS and wasn’t really all that well known outside of the teenage demographic that it had drawn in. In fact, Image Comics in general was very low-profile compared to Marvel and DC and the brunt of their properties. That being said, it wouldn’t have killed Nelvana to have done their research on the franchise more thoroughly and made a more sincere effort in introducing the C.A.T.s and their arch nemeses, the Daemonites, to kids and informing them via the cartoon about what both sides were all about. I certainly would have preferred a narration of the Kherubim/Daemonite struggle over that loud, obnoxious rap-rock theme song that introduced the show every Saturday morning, that was for sure. Even so, the studio STILL would have had to make changes to the product to make it more acceptable for kids, such as changing Voodoo’s pre-recruitment profession (She was an exotic dancer in the comics.) and all her other more sexually themed qualities. Not only that, but even though the C.A.T.s have a pretty undeserved reputation of being “rip-offs” of the X-Men (despite their creator, Jim Lee, having once been an illustrator for the Uncanny X-Men), there’s one thing that the WildC.A.T.s cartoon SHOULD have borrowed from the X-Men cartoon: its style of storytelling. In other words, don’t just have the C.A.T.s foil the Daemonites at the end of every episode. Let the feud carry on as an arc for several episodes with each side exchanging victories with the other until the grand finale, when the C.A.T.s finally triumph. After all, with the lack of a rogue’s gallery that X-Men and most other comic book superheroes had at the time (e.g., Spider-Man, Superman, and Batman), Nelvana should have milked the feud for all that it was worth.

      All things considered, I agree with you whole-heartedly that the writing for the WildC.A.T.s cartoon SUCKED bigtime.

      • I can’t help but agree, Stewart. I’ll admit that your idea of reintroducing the C.A.T.s to the cartoon’s audience would’ve been the thing to do to ensure its success. Not only that, but as I’ve mentioned in my poem, kids can be much smarter than what most television studios give them credit for, and for Nelvana to have introduced the C.A.T.s in such a half-assed fashion as they did I personally found to be pretty insulting. Certain creative liberties to the original lore I can understand (e.g., Voodoo), but aside from that, I certainly would have learned to enjoy the WildC.A.T.s cartoon so much more than I did if only the writers made more of an effort to give us the C.A.T.s’ backstory as superheroes and give us more of an insight concerning their role in the war against the Daemonites. Not only that, but for crying out loud, would it have killed them to have expanded upon certain events in the cartoon and made arcs out of them? I sure as hell would have loved it if Majestic would have gotten some comeuppance for what he did to Spartan and the rest of the team during episode 6: Lives in the Balance as well as if the writers had bothered going into detail to describe Majestic’s whole agenda.

        Honestly, I don’t understand why some writers feel the need to have to hide crucial details about a franchise they’re trying to adapt for a new (e.g., younger) audience. After all, the more one learns the truth about said franchise through the adaptation, the more inclined one will be to check out and enjoy the product in its original form.

        All in all, thanks for your response! 🙂

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