Poem of the Week: Mix It Up

Mix It Up
August 15, 2016

Day after day after day after day,
Doing the same thing the same old way
With little variation from day to day…
That’s no way to put on a show. No way!

Yes, you need a formula for any show,
But you’re supposed to be “variety.” Are you? No!
Not when you keep on airing the same old shorts
With the same old folks in the same spots, sport.

Your show’s long become predictable as Hell,
And because of that, it’s gotten boring as well—
Not a good adjective for what’s supposed to be
A much-beloved, time-honored comedy.

You’ve got to mix it up, man. Keep things fresh.
You already know how well your cast members mesh.
Now try them out in different roles and let them expand
Their talents so as to better reinvigorate your brand.

Stop acting out the same skits over and over again.
Bring out some of the old ones that we haven’t seen since when
You were at your finest and switch up the ones you’ve got
So that they play out differently before they start to rot.

Stop recycling the same tired old jokes, too,
Come up with some new ones to keep folks fixed on you,
And please…none of that crude crap we’ve heard from other shows—
That childish, lowbrow, crass shtick that only brings folks woe.

Why else, after all, do you think we tune in to you?
It’s ‘cause we’ve long been entertained by what you used to do
Until you kept on repeating the same exhausted lines.
That’s why many have walked away, leaving you behind.

Another way you can get this problem resolved,
Look to unused talent and get them involved
Like those two funny women whose humor we’ve enjoyed
And those veterans who came back, yet you’ve underemployed.

Your weekly guests, while a mixed bag, aren’t special anymore,
And to see them get so much spotlight has become a chore.
No matter how good they may be, their talent rarely compares
To the proven in-house favorites you already have there.

You craft your games around them and the projects they’re a part of
To the point where you’ve ignored the crew we’ve come to love.
Where’s your sense of being, identity, and pride?
Do you really need these outsiders to get crowds to come and see?

Nostalgia isn’t everything. That I know for sure,
But once upon a time, my enjoyment was pure
In the show you used to put on, yet don’t anymore
Because of the unvaried content you’ve had for us in store.

For the love of Heaven, then, mix it up right away!
Give us something fresh ‘fore we all go away
And leave you with naught but gluttons for mediocrity
In your loyal fanbase with no demand for quality.

It’s not too late to change, and change I hope you do—
Not just for my sake, either, but for all who love you.
Just give us the variety you used to give back in the day,
And you’ll be awesome once more. Please trust in what I say.

*****

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5 thoughts on “Poem of the Week: Mix It Up

  1. Is this “poem” about Whose Line Is It Anyway? Because if it is, then you can kiss mine, pal! This show’s every bit as good as it was back during the Drew Carey era and has gotten so much better than season 9. You’re Wrong.

    • Look, if you really like Whose Line as much as you do, then why let anyone else’s opinion about it get under your skin? Better yet, why go out of your way to verbally bury anyone who might have a negative opinion about a show that you otherwise like? Honestly, if you keep going out of your way to defend WLIIA the way you do, then guess what: You’re either a) going to end up looking like a “white knight” and risk the reality of nobody taking you seriously or b) make a name for yourself as being an easy target for trolls who’ll go out of their way to get under your skin every chance they get. My advice, then: Wise up, grow a thick skin, and let people have their opinions.

      Besides, even with a good show, there’s always room for improvement.

      • I agree. As much as I enjoy Whose Line being back on TV, I still wish it was as good nowadays as it used to be on ABC back in 1998-2006. Not only did the Drew Carey era have more games for us to enjoy back then, but the fellas didn’t feel the need to be QUITE as raunchy as they are currently on the CW, nor did they milk the whole “celebrity guest” gimmick as much as they do now. If only CBS—seeing as they own roughly half the rights to the CW—would take Whose Line out of the network’s lineup and air it on their own network. Maybe THEN we can see some changes in the WLIIA product as we know it, and the show will be every bit as good as it used to be. That’s a big maybe, I’ll admit, but my opinion still stands, as I never thought I’d see the day when television’s most beloved improvisational comedy show became every bit as stale as it has become in the last four years.

        Besides, even in its current state, I’d definitely LOVE to see Whose Line Is It Anyway? over the latest crass, immature, bitter, jaded, mean-spirited piece of trash sitcom Chuck Lorre production. Seriously, I HATE that asshole and ALL the insipid, lowbrow, for-the-“masses” sitcoms he’s produced in what so far has been a tragic joke of a century, and I really wish with all my heart and soul that CBS would trust in someone with a fresher outlook on sitcoms and just comedy in general rather than in him. Then again, we’re talking about the same network that has been airing both Big Brother AND Survivor—two of the most obnoxious, idiotic, and overcelebrated reality shows of all time—since the late 1990s, so I’m not expecting all that much on THAT front.

      • Well, Frank, all I can say in response to what you’ve just said is that we’ll have to wait and see what happens in the hopefully-not-too-ditant future. Hopefully, WLIIA will turn out for the better as this current season progresses or, failing that, ether the CW or CBS will take measures to ensure that U.S. season 13 will learn from the mistakes that seasons 9 through 12 have made/been making. We’ll all just have to keep our fingers crossed in the meantime.

        Thanks for your feedback, though. I appreciate it! 🙂

    • Spencer, you really need to grow up. Not only is your blatant capitalization of the word “wrong,” despite it not being the first or only word in your final sentence, completely idiotic, but you defend WLIIA to the DEATH every chance you get, no matter who on what message board says what negative thing about it. The only time you give it a rest is when it gets to a point where even YOU are forced to admit the show’s shortcomings (e.g., U.S. season 9 or the overabundance of the Helping Hands game). You also feel the need to resort to petty name-calling a lot of the time during your defenses, especially the names “whiner” and “moron.” So much for having class and dignity in the name of aversion.

      Face it: WLIIA has had plenty of flaws over the course of its existence, especially since its CW revival, and if people are able to discuss the problems they see with the program, THEY HAVE THAT RIGHT. It isn’t up to you or anyone else to tell them that they’re “wrong” or to insult them for simply having an opinion, no matter how damning of your favorite show it may be. Now, if we were talking about people like that jackass Bart Carfizzi on Facebook earlier this summer or back in 2014 and his apparent need to bash Wayne Brady every chance he gets (or at least three to four times per year before people grow a pair and tell him to knock it off and start acting his age again), that’d be one thing. Sadly, we’re talking people who haven’t had anything to say in the first place, which REALLY shows others just how much of a white knight you can be for Whose Line—which is something that the show simply…doesn’t…need…AT…ALL.

      Got that? I hope so. Even if you didn’t, though, please move on with your life. Thank you.

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