Memo from the Media
April 11, 2016
Say our industry works in ways that are funny,
But to Hell with quality. It’s all about the money,
‘Cause even if something’s trash, so long as it draws eyes,
We’ll keep on making more ‘til it finally dies,
Be that next month or a decade from now.
‘Til then, we’ll keep on raking in the cash—and how!
After all, most people find pleasure in what we make,
Even if it’s little more than crap for crap’s sake.
As for everything else…who cares
If it has any charm, uniqueness, or flair?
If people don’t watch, listen, or read,
Then why feed it more money ‘til we bleed?
“Poorly advertised,” you say? Oh, well.
There’s probably a reason your favorite thing’s in Hell,
Like the fact that it was meant for naught but losers—
Lifeless, deadbeat, potty-mouthed boozers
Who thrive off YouTube, ranting on and on
About how everything “sucks” and point out what’s “wrong”
About the media ‘til you’re red, white, and blue
In the face, all because it means so much to you
To act like your voice matters when the case
Is anything but in reality, you disgrace.
You’re nothing more than part of a vocal minority,
And we’ll never change, no matter what you see
As “offensive” or “pointless” or “stupid” or the like,
So shut your hole, troglodytic nerd, and take a hike,
And good riddance to you ‘til the next life,
‘Cause we’re sick of all the misery, pain, and strife
You’ve been taking out on us when all we’ve been doing
Is what businesses do, not “screwing”
Anyone out of anything—not even cash,
Which, yes, we’ve been making day by day by the stash—
But rather providing a product you’ve no obligation
To support in any way, regardless of financial station.
Don’t like us? Don’t support us. Simple as that.
Now, take your petty, childish, hateful whining and scat
And let us do wat we’re still going to do,
No matter what you say ‘cause we’re not marketing to you.
It makes no difference how often or loudly you bitch
About what we put out. We’ll still be rich,
And you’ll be left sitting all alone at your desk
Shaking your head sadly, feeling so perplexed
At how you could be the only one to see
Our product the way you do. Hey…beats me.