Bonus Poem of the Week: Future of Fortune

Future of Fortune
November 18, 2015

Trying to make a living, trying to be a man,
Not exactly succeeding, but doing the best I can,
Relying on my own money—what’s left of it, leastways—
Not wanting to rely on others’ cash as I live day to day.

Trying to be a good person to the folks surrounding me,
As compassionate and considerate as I can possibly be,
Even towards the scumbags who treat me like I’m trash,
No matter how much I want to kick any of them in the ass.

Trying to work my own ass off at what I love to do
In hopes that it takes me somewhere and makes my dreams come true.
Trying to be smart and diligent in my quest to secure my place
And prove to the world, both friend and foe, that I’m not a disgrace.

Still, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I work,
No matter how much I try to not make myself look like a jerk,
No matter how I tend to my health and financial security,
Something happens that makes me shake my head and ask, “Why me?”

Whether it’s agents scoffing at my work like I’m some bum
Or my health insurance company jacking up my premium
Or my own stinking cowardice getting the better of me,
There’s something going on in my life that just won’t let me be.

Clearly I’ve done something wrong to bring this upon myself—
To make myself a pauper, lower than anyone else.
Was I that lazy as a child in forging my destiny?
Was I that stupid to not figure out just what I wanted to be?

Did I tick off the wrong person? Did I say something wrong
To put myself on the Powers That Be’s blacklist for oh so long?
Did I do or not do something to derail me from my success?
Ah, but if I could figure out the source of my distress!

Then again, time travel doesn’t exist in this reality,
And who knows the paradoxes I’d cause in my quest to see
Myself in a better place than what I’ve put myself in?
Would the world turn out for the better or even more wracked with sin?

Also, what’s the point in hoping for a second life,
Reincarnation or otherwise, to save me from this strife
When I’ve got this life to live right now and make up for my mistakes?
Such is all I’ve got now in the face of these grave stakes.

Well, whatever the case may be, it’s time I screwed in my heels,
For only I can save myself from this unbearable deal.
I’ve made this mess for myself ultimately, and now,
It’s up to me to clean up my act and save myself somehow.

No more messed-up priorities! No more screwing around!
No more childish excuses keeping me tied to the ground!
I’ve done enough in my life to hold me back from destiny,
And no matter who or what else might be getting in the way of me,

From now on, it’s up to me to at last set things straight.
I’ve suffered long enough within the folds of this fate,
And anyone who might want to help me can’t, plain and simple,
While those who ought to would much rather fester like pimples

On a teenage face, and Heaven knows my teenage days are done.
Never mind my childhood. I’m that far from being young,
And I’m not getting any younger, either, so plague my wretched stalling!
It’s time to put this pity party to rest and heed my calling.

Look out, future of fortune! Here I finally come
To accept responsibility for my fate and become
The person I’ve long meant to be and forge my legacy
In hopes of bettering the world for others as well as for me.


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