Happy Super Bowl Sunday, readers!
Unfortunately, this week’s “Poem of the Week” has nothing to do with football in the slightest, but rather is dedicated to those of you out there who are getting sick and tired of the current trend in movies these days. Granted, there have been some good flicks popping up here and there in recent years, but even with that in mind, I’m sure that most of us–if not, in fact, all of us–have that one film that we either regret seeing or refuse to watch under any circumstances. Therefore, for those of you who see the big game tonight as a breath of fresh air from whatever garbage has been making its way onto the Silver Screen, here’s The Cancer of Hollywood. Enjoy!
The Cancer of Hollywood
January 29, 2013
Remember that era of Hollywood
When the movies it made were actually good,
Well before it started feeding us this smut
That has led it into its current rut?
Remember all the classics you knew as a kid
That lasted for months before going to vid
In the theaters, where snacks and sodas were cheap,
And it actually mattered whether or not you had good seats?
Remember when going to the theater was fun,
When it actually felt worth it to make a movie run
Over the weekend with friends and family
‘Cause the movies then were actually something to see?
Well, sadly, all, those days are done,
For movies today just aren’t that fun—
Maybe a small handful of them, but like I said,
For the most part, good movies are dead,
And nowadays, the cinema is mostly crap,
No thanks to that which has given it a bad rap.
Sloppily written scripts, recycled plots,
Chaotic and nonsensical camera shots,
Illogical swerves, raunchy themes,
Quotes that even fail as Internet memes,
Gratuitous vulgarity, sex, and gore,
Unrelatable, unendearing characters galore,
Anarchic randomness, and lowbrow humor—
All these constitute the malignant tumor
That has plagued the industry for oh so long
That I’m surprised I’ve yet to hear its swan song,
Although I’m sure I will if things carry on like this
And produces less than one box office hit per miss.
Unfortunately, what can movie buffs do
Aside from not seeing a travesty or two
At their local theater when such flicks come out?
Honestly, it’s enough to make one shout
“Boycott! Boycott!” at the top of their lungs,
And guess what: So long as I’ve a tongue
Of any sort with which to speak
‘Til the cinema scene stops looking so bleak,
I’ll insist that the masses save their dough
And stop paying to see their god-awful shows.
Honestly, why flush your hard-earned money
Down the toilet like it was crap, honey,
By watching a film that ends up being that?
Why not help your wallets stay fat
By staying at home and reading a book—
Hard cover, paperback, Kindle, Nook—
Or watching a classic film on DVD
Or even finding a favorite show on TV?
Whatever the case, Hollywood must
Learn from its mistakes or bust,
But that’ll never happen, lest we have a say
By avoiding the filth and electing to pay
Only to see the worthwhile stuff?
After all, when the industry’s tough,
The hard way’s the only way people learn
To do something fast before they crash and burn,
And if these studios keep feeding us turds,
Then maybe we ought to flip them the bird
Until they realize we want good stuff again
Just like we once watched way back when.
Do yourself a favor then, folks: Spare your change
Before it lands in the pockets of the deranged
And maybe—just maybe—we’ll see good stuff again
On the silver screen. Until then,
To Hell with today’s flood of cinematic poop,
For who knows how much lower the studios’ll stoop
To gain any extra greenbacks from the masses?
After all, aren’t you sick of movies that are classless?
And that wraps up yet another “Poem of the Week.” Thanks again for stopping by and reading, everyone, and feel free to subscribe via email or WordPress account if you haven’t already. Also, as always, be sure to visit my author pages at Smashwords.com, Amazon.com, and Amazon.co.uk for a list of my current publications. Otherwise, readers, thanks again for your time, and please come on back next week as I salute Valentine’s Day with a special love poem. Until then, happy reading!
Dustin M. Weber