Well, the editing for my latest novel, UWWX: The Underground Wrestling Xperiment, has been going at a slower rate than I’d expected due to certain events in my life occurring and hence taking up my time, and I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone who had been looking forward to the release of my book this past month. However, to show that I haven’t forgotten about it at all—or women’s wrestling on the whole, for that matter—I’ve since whipped up the following sonnet. The story is simple: A wrestling promoter has just finished witnessing a very error-ridden tryout match that he has allowed an incoming former women’s wrestling superstar from another wrestling organization to partake in to see if she belongs on his roster. Without further ado, then, here’s From Promoter to Botchmistress. Enjoy!
From Promoter to Botchmistress
October 8, 2012
Congratulations, bitch! You’re a jobber.
That match you’ve put on was the worst I’ve seen.
Did you even think for once to bother
Heading on back to where you should’ve been
In the independent circuit, where you
Could refine yourself to once again be
The superstar that your fans see in you
And not the bumbling klutz you were for me?
Far as I’m concerned, you’re overrated,
For you fail to live up to all your hype,
And your career soon will be outdated,
For even your fans will be quick to gripe
At your botching in the ring left and right,
Should I foolishly book you for tonight.
Well, that should do it for today. Hopefully, the message of this poem has come clear to each and every one of you who has read it, especially in the off-chance that any of you happen to run your own wrestling promotion. Trust me, this is coming from a guy who respects what women’s wrestling both once was and can still be and not what it has degenerated into in recent years: Talent and work ethic should always—ALWAYS—come before looks and reputation, for a wrestler is only as good as what he or she brings to the table and can contribute to the wellbeing of whatever promotion he or she belongs to. Sloppy in-ring work should never be tolerated on account of how it contributes to the all-too-real injuries that many a wrestler has already endured over the years, and for any promoter to hand any championship over to one wrestler over another just because the first wrestler happens to have a bigger name than the second—even if said second wrestler has been busting his or her back to work his or her way up the ladder and earn the fans’ respect the entire time—is nothing less than insulting to both the second wrestler and to the fans he or she has been working so hard to earn since day one of his or her tenure on the roster.
At any rate, thank you all for stopping by to check out my blog and, in particular, this poem, and as always, please check out my author page at Smashwords.com for current and future releases, and follow me on Twitter @DustinMWeber. Until next time, then, take care and happy reading!
Dustin M. Weber