Welcome back, readers!
Well, with autumn being just around the corner (at least here in the good ol’ U.S. of A.), I suddenly find myself reminded of what the season brings: new beginnings. Think about it–school starts up for students once again, television stations change their schedules around and add new shows to their lineup, baseball season transitions over to football season, and of course, there’s the harvesting of such foods as apples, pumpkins, cranberries, and sweet potatoes, just to name a few. Oh, and of course, we also have such holidays as Halloween and Thanksgiving to look forward to. All that being said, though, the poem I was inspired to write on account of this change in season has nothing to do with any of these things in particular, but rather the very notion of change itself and how it can be a blessing for certain people when things grow tough. On that note, then, here’s my latest poem–a little work about one individual’s desire to move forward with his/her life and leave the past in the past where it belongs called Ramblings of Distress and Hope. Please enjoy!
Ramblings of Distress and Hope
August 14, 2012
My mind is a whirlwind of clutter and despair
All because I’ve let my life fall into disrepair,
A state of confusion I’ve been suffering for so long
That I’ve often asked myself, “Where did I go wrong?
Why have I let my anxiety rule my life
Ever since I was a child and give me such pain and strife?
Why couldn’t I’ve screwed my heels in and stood tall
When faced with adversity? Why’d I have to blow it all
And let my circumstances get the better of me,
Preventing myself from becoming that which I now should be?”
After all, there’s got to be a link between now and then—
A connection between my current situation and way back when,
Going all the way back to when I was a child,
A time when I could’ve sworn I was fine all the while.
Looking back nowadays, though, maybe I wasn’t okay.
Maybe I actually needed help with something right away—
Something that needed fixing then, yet I couldn’t quite describe,
Something I couldn’t see with my naïve, clueless eyes.
Now that I’m an adult, though, I see things plain as day—
Seen where it’d have helped if I’d have let someone show me the way,
Show me the way on how I could’ve made the most
Out of whatever talents I had so that I could nowadays boast
About who I’d have been and what I’d have been capable of
While doing something that in this reality I love
In the name of the home and family I should’ve had by now
And all else I’ve cheated myself out of—and how!
Now, I know I should probably leave things in the past
And remember that even good things don’t always last
And that even if I had all I wanted, there’d still be
A chance for me to lose it all as easily as A, B, C.
Even so, if I could do it all over again,
If I were to relive my life starting from way back when,
I’d change so much it’d make my own head spin,
But maybe—just maybe, mind you—I’d finally win
All I could ever hope for and live happily ever after,
Singing my heart out, my voice ringing through the rafters,
And not about despair or self-loathing, either,
But about success, determination, and being a believer
And how hard work brings success after all,
So long as you’ve a game plan and can heed your chosen call.
Speaking of chosen calls, I hope it’s not too late
For me to follow my own at this very date,
Even with how I’ve strayed from the path for so blasted long,
Which I know all too well in my heart was wrong.
This has got to be the year, then, for me to move forth,
Now that at long last I’ve discovered my true course.
Drama be damned! ‘Tis prosperity I need.
Time to end this pity party if I want to succeed.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed, though, in case I do fall flat,
Which hopefully won’t be the case, now that I know where I’m at.
Time for me to stand tall, then, and plant my feet firm
Into the ground in hopes that this time around, I won’t squirm.
Time for one final deep breath for me, too, friends,
As I press forth into the unknown and hope this mind game ends
Once and for all with no more desperate looks back on what’s been.
What’s done is done, and no longer can it reflect the state I’m now in.
Well, that should do it for today. I hope this poem touches the hearts of those who are currently going through tough times themselves and are looking for that gentle kick in the rump to get them back in the swing of things and on their feet working towards a better tomorrow for themselves and their loved ones. In the meantime, thank you all for reading, and as always, check out my author page at Smashwords.com for current releases of mine as well as upcoming projects. Also, follow me on Twitter @DustinMWeber, and much thanks to fellow WordPress member Zac Egs for becoming my 40th subscriber today. Otherwise, happy reading, and here’s to a particularly pleasant change of season!
Dustin M. Weber