Poem of the Week: Up & Down

Welcome back, readers!

Sorry this past week has been kind of slow on this blog, but I promise you that once UWWX: The Women’s Wrestling Xperiment is finally edited, things will pick up. In the meantime, I hope this week’s “Poem of the Week,” which chronicles one man’s struggle with anxiety and depression, makes up for the lack of posts I’ve produced this month so far.

*****

Up & Down

July 12, 2012

 

Up and down, hot and cold,

That’s how I’ll be even when I’m old.

Sometimes I’m happy, other times sad,

Sometimes hopeful, other times mad.

Never am I balanced, never serene,

Always a whirlwind, if you know what I mean:

Not exactly dazed, but still confused,

I’ve smarts, but I still chance to blow a fuse

Inside this cross-wired brain of mine,

Making me wish I could jaunt back in time

To at least look back and understand

Just how I became such a messed-up man.

Then again, why bother reopening old wounds

When I’d be better off finding some help soon?

Not through meds, either; they’re just temporary.

Plus, the side effects are just plain scary.

Counseling, maybe? Psh! Not a chance!

I’ve had it with doing the “Mind Games Dance.”

Every shrink I’ve been to has been nothing but a joke,

And the cash I’ve given them has all gone up in smoke.

They’re either wishy-washy and don’t teach me squat

Or insensitive clods with no heart left to rot,

So guess what: Here I am on my own,

Dealing with something that’s cutting me to the bone,

And I’m so tired of feeling this way,

So I guess it’s up to me, starting today,

To forge my own path in purging my stress

Before it puts me under further duress

And screw my heels in when it comes to life

And teach myself to cope with my own strife.

After all, why rely on anyone else

When no one knows me better than myself?

I know my own problems. I know my own flaws,

So why shouldn’t self-betterment be my own cause?

That’s it, then! My mind’s all made up.

The chips are down, and I’ve had enough

Starting today, things’ll change for the better,

And no more shall I remain so fettered,

For I’ve finally figured out what to do

And someday, I hope to break through

And live normally like everyone else,

No longer feeling sorry for myself.

No more ups and downs, no more going hot and cold,

No more feeling how I’ll be when I grow old.

It may take a while—probably next to forever,

But in the end, I see myself achieving this endeavor.

*****

And that should do it for this week. Thank you all very much for checking out my blog today, and as always, follow me on Twitter @DustinMWeber and keep your eyes open on my author page at Smashwords.com to see when UWWX will be available and to check out any of my other works. Until next time, then, happy reading!

Regards,

Dustin M. Weber

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