Today, I have some great news for Kobo shoppers: All three of my currently published books are now available at Kobobooks.com and are priced exactly as they are at Smashwords.com! Not only that, but those of you who shop at WH Smith are in luck, too, as they have these same books available for sale on their website. For more information, please click on the links below.
Additionally, as has been the case every Sunday on this blog so far, I come to you with my latest “Poem of the Week.” This week should be pretty interesting, too, seeing as the inspiration behind this particular poem came from a little habit of mine that I have developed in recent years—namely, watching and listening to YouTube videos while working on my novels and/or poetry. It’s nothing too serious, really—just a harmless diversion that I give in to from time to time to recharge the old gray matter between writing sessions. Often enough, I also manage to garner an idea or two that I eventually end up translating into a plot for one of my novels, as was the case with my first official book, Kyle Summers, Booker. The same holds true for the novel I am currently finishing up, the title of which I plan to announce once I have finally written the last chapter, as well as yet another book that I plan to start immediately after finishing up my current work. Such is also the case for this poem right here, which I’ve written as the result of the inspiration I have developed after listening to and watching a few videos made by a handful of commentators on YouTube.
In a nutshell, YouTube commentators work like this: They find certain material that they see as being stupid, comical, illogical, or otherwise “riff-worthy” and basically share their two cents with the world on what they and their intended audience are both watching and/or listening to. Such material that may fall prey to a commentator’s sharp wit or burning logic could be a biased or otherwise misleading news report; a music video made by a recording artist or group who has garnered plenty of infamy on the Internet for one reason or another; or a rant, product review, or daily vlog made by a fellow YouTube video maker who either says or does something that the commentator a) finds to be idiotic or offensive or b) simply disagrees with. The following links should redirect you to a few examples of the kind of video I’m talking about. Be warned, though, for these videos may or may not contain language that one would consider suitable for a general audience.
Needless to say, the message of the following poem should more or less be pretty straightforward and teach a crucial lesson to anyone who plans on sharing his or her thoughts about the world around them via the Internet, specifically via YouTube or any other site that features user-made videos. It’s a lesson that many have learned that hard way, but hopefully, after reading this story, you shan’t be among those people. Without further ado, then, enjoy!
The Ranting Game: A Limerick Chain
May 19, 2012
I once knew a man named Clyde
Who suffered from excessive pride,
And when he was young,
He’d flap his tongue
And offer up words so snide
About all he saw wrong with the world,
With all men, women, boys, and girls,
With world society
To the point where all wanted to hurl,
For see, Clyde wasn’t so smart
When he chose to make ranting his art,
And all that he would say
Would be tainted some way
With the stench of some massive brain fart.
The man’s thoughts were simply inane,
And when he spoke, he sounded insane.
His facts were all wrong,
Thus his arguments weren’t strong,
And he simply caused his audience pain.
Many of his gripes were minor,
Though he treated them as though they were finer,
And though he spoke with conviction,
His frequent contradictions
Made him sound like a hypocritical whiner.
Others often called him out on his crap
And verbally, he’d be punk-slapped
By those who had heard
His oblivious words
And wished he would just shut his trap.
Sadly, he only fought back
And offered up counterattacks
With a countenance so smug
Like that of a slug
As if his critics were the ones who were whack.
This only bit him in the butt
And put him in quite a rut,
For he acted the fool
And came off like a tool
And was left asking himself, “What?
What more is left for me to do?
There’s got to be a way to get through
To all those fools
That my ideas rule
And to respect them, they really ought to.”
So he ignored all his critics’ cries,
Not once listening to any of their “lies,”
And kept spewing away
The same notions that they
Had all come to thoroughly despise.
The only difference this time around
Was how Clyde took on a much meaner sound.
His attitude was less evasive
And his voice more abrasive
As upon many an eardrum it did pound.
Otherwise, his words were the same,
Only bolder and even more insane
With double standards galore
As his voice and ego bore
ven harder down upon people’s brains,
And once again did his listeners fight
To put an end to his fanatical plight
With even more detractions
And similar reactions,
And why not? They knew they were right,
For Clyde’s research was little to nil,
Just as his voice was obnoxious and shrill.
Thus, he hadn’t the facts
That he needed to back
His opinions—only his will,
Hence the retorts soon drove Clyde up a wall,
Which thus led to his ultimate fall,
And as he crashed and burned,
He finally learned
That he was the fool after all,
For he’d never made logic his friend,
And as such, all that time he did spend
Preaching his spiel
Had little appeal
Upon those who’d brought him to and end.
After that, Clyde never spoke again,
And only God knows where he’s been,
For now it’s been years
Since his words pierced folks’ ears,
And no one’s heard from him since then.
The moral to this story is plain:
If you want to play the ranting game,
Get you facts straight
And avoid provoking hate,
And respect will be yours to gain.
Well, that pretty much sums things up. Just remember, then, kids: Logic always triumphs over histrionics and hyperbole any day of the week. Other than that, thank you all once again for reading this blog of mine, and remember as always to check out my Smashwords.com author page as well as the two links I’d provided earlier in this post for Kobo and WH Smith. Don’t be afraid to buy any of my books from any of these three sites, either, and leave a review for them once you’re done. I’d really appreciate feedback on what I’m doing either right or wrong as an author. Thanks again, and stay tuned for future posts regarding my work.
Dustin M. Weber