Poem of the Week: Celebrity Gossip

Hey, readers!

It’s been pretty busy around here since the last time I posted. Right now, I’m in the middle of finishing up my latest novel, which I should at long last be wrapping up by the end of June, should things go well. Expect a brief description of it on this blog, too, once I am able to complete it. For the time being, however, as promised, here is my second “Poem of the Week.” Enjoy!


Celebrity Gossip
May 1, 2012

Did you hear the story ‘bout Fifi Van Fleet?
She was busted walking naked in broad daylight down the street.
My cell phone and iPad both told me so.
Hey, the day I start caring, pal, I’ll let you know.

Well, how ‘bout this bit on Brodus Rochelle
Whose wife caught him cheating on her in some motel
With some acne-ridden bimbo? Ain’t that a trip?
Hey, unless it affects me at all, I don’t give a rip.

Yeah, well, what about Ike Fletcher’s DUI arrest
After he had failed the breathalyzer test
The cops gave him when they caught him speeding down Crown Road?
Hey, so long as it wasn’t near my humble abode.

Okay, but what about what Traci Tieger wore
At the Academy Awards and all that skin she bore?
Honestly, was she trying to be the worst-dressed guest?
If you expect me to care, bub, you’re going to be hard-pressed.

Speaking of the Oscars, guess what Tom Shaw did
To Sophia Struthers. See this YouTube vid?
Yeah, I heard all about it, and while he was out of line,
There are stories out there that are much more worth my time.

Well, how ‘bout this other vid? Don’t you want to see
How Kate Winslow handled the paparazzi
As they were stalking her on her honeymoon?
No, I don’t feel like watching that any time soon.

Well, how about these outrageous Tweets
That Kryton Phelps made in regard to Van Fleet’s
Indecent exposure arrest? Care about any of that?
Nope, because to me, that’s all just idle chit-chat.

Okay, well, here’s a story about Lily Hammer’s pregnancy
Coming to an end after hours of delivery
In a luxury maternity suite at Trinity Oaks.
What, like babies aren’t born to regular folks?

Well, it looks like “Creek-Son” is back together.
Man, that couple ticks me off! They can be so fair-weather.
Well, if they rile you up so much, stop making them your concern.
Their lives don’t affect yours. When will you ever learn?

Well, how about what Max Rodriguez had to say
About that new book, A Dear Price to Pay,
By that new author, Martina Ramirez-Jones?
What makes you think I’m concerned? Just leave me alone!

Well, how about this saucy ad
Featuring Harriet Forbes, who’s only clad
In her lingerie to promote her new show?
Do you really think I’m interested in that smut? No!

Well, how about Heidi Ho’s wardrobe malfunction
Or what Richter and Smith ate at their power luncheon?
How about Beverly Hill’s nudie shoot for Skank magazine?
Look, as far as my life goes, what do they all mean?

See here, you don’t get what I’ve been trying to say.
Celebrity news just isn’t part of my day.
It doesn’t involve me, nor does it affect
How I live my life or what’ll happen next.

The same holds true for others, save for people like you
Who apparently have nothing better to do
Except catch up on the daily goings-on
Of folks you may never meet. Yeah, well, why’s that so wrong?

Nothing, in theory, save for being a waste of time.
Then again, you’ve got your interests, and I’ve got mine,
But as far as celebrity gossip goes,
Tell me no more of it, ‘cause I don’t want to know.


And that should do it for this segment. Thank you for reading, and as always, please visit my author page at Smashwords.com to see what I have available for sale. Until next time, folks…

Dustin M. Weber


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