Poem of the Week: The ABCs of Modern-Day Pro Wrestling

Happy Father’s Day, readers!

For this week’s “Poem of the Week,” I’ve managed to compose yet another alphabet poem, this time discussing the problems that certain wrestling fans see in professional wrestling these days. If you happen to be a pro wrestling fan yourself and either agree or disagree with some of the sentiments shared in this poem, feel free to discuss your views in the comments section below. Chances are that there’s been a point or two that I’ve neglected to cover in this composition that you feel is necessary to discuss. Otherwise, here’s hoping that you enjoy The ABCs of Modern-Day Pro Wrestling.

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The ABCs of Modern-Day Pro Wrestling

June 10, 2013

 

A is for aggravating and agitating—so hard to watch.

B is for how bothered I get every time I see a botch.

C is for every character that’s so fake and contrived.

D is for the drug-based deaths of far one too many guys.

E is for every error I see in a promotion’s booking.

F is for all the floozies on TV who aren’t even good-looking.

G is for the greatness that the worthy are denied.

H is for every homegrown talent who gets left behind.

I is for the immaturity of certain stars on Twitter.

J is for every jackass who, in interviews, shows how he’s bitter.

K is for Kickstarter—no start for a wrestling company.

L is for every legend whom today’s stars might never be.

M is for the messiness of too many storylines.

N is for the nasty locker room noise I’d like left behind.

O is for the obnoxiousness of certain commentators.

P is for the piss-poor promos that make no sense now or later.

Q is for quitting, which I think certain promoters ought to do

While R is for the ridiculousness by which they tell fans, “Screw you!”

S is for the superficiality we’re expected to buy.

T is for too many twits amongst fans like you and I.

U is for the ugly truth that the glory days are gone.

V is for the venom I’ve been gagging down for so long.

W is for what wrestling fans can do to lend a hand.

X is for that “X-Factor” that’s missing from this wasteland.

Y is for all the yakking away that won’t solve anything.

Z is for “Zounds!” when it all disappears and we feel its painful sting.

 

To think, too, that I’ve only scratched the surface with these rhymes,

But seeing as I’m out of letters, I’ll carry on at a later time.

Until then, when it comes to wrestling, I’m leaving my TV off

For fear that I’ll end up seeing something else that’ll make me scoff.

After all, what’s the point of watching something that I hate

When I can simply look for something else to put on my plate?

All in all, though I want the wrestling industry to succeed,

I refuse to succumb to my own personal pride and greed

And watch it just to whine about it like so many fellow fans do

And instead take a break and hope it improves for the rest of you.

*****

This hereby concludes this week’s “Poem of the Week.” Thank you to all who have stopped by to read it, and Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. As for you wrestling fans, I hope you found this enjoyable, and again, if you have any feedback, feel free to leave it, so long as it’s civilized. Otherwise, as always, please check out my author pages to check out my current publications (Smashwords.com, Amazon.com,
and Amazon.co.uk), and as always, happy reading!

Regards,

Dustin M. Weber

Poem of the Week: Something for Nothing

Hello, readers!

Has it ever angered any of you when people who more or less do nothing at all in their lives receive an insane amount of fame and fortune while so many other people in the world bust their backs on a regular basis to earn a single paycheck or, worse yet, try to find a decent job that will provide them just that? If so, then I hope the following sestina will resonate with you in such a sense. Without further ado, then, here’s Something for Nothing. Please enjoy!

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Something for Nothing

June 7, 2013

 

Sometimes people can be such assholes

When it comes to accepting responsibility,

Being more content to dodge it instead

Of actually owning up and accepting

That which Fate has given them and making

The most out of it for their own benefit.

 

It’s just all too easy nowadays for people to benefit

From simply sitting around their homes being assholes,

And yet, there are so many out there making

Tracks in their search for responsibility

And to make matters worse is how accepting

Society is of all this mess when one would think it’d be vice-versa instead.

 

Whatever happened to when blood, sweat, and tears got one places instead

Of sitting on one’s indolent ass reaping benefit after benefit—

When one had to work hard and earn what one wanted before accepting

It as opposed to simply knowing the right group of assholes—

When being an adult and showing responsibility

Was the key to determining how much of an income one would be making?

 

Now look at the mess our civilization has been making

When we all can turn things around and fix them instead

Of sitting by idly and forsaking our responsibility

To see to it that the back-breaking masses benefit

For their hours upon hours of mental and physical labor while all the assholes

Get jack squat for doing jack squat and of the new status quo learn to be accepting.

 

After all, why should we be accepting

Of these back-asswards circumstances we’ve been making

That punish hard workers yet reward lazy assholes?

Why can’t it be the other way around instead?

Last time I checked, such a model has oftentimes provided more benefit

To those who were too grown up to shirk adult responsibility.

 

We all must rise up and accept responsibility

And learn to stop being so mindlessly accepting

Of the current way of things where sloth and ignorance benefit.

If ever there was a time for us to be making

Progress as a civilization, that time would be now instead

Of sometime after we end up breeding a new generation of assholes…

 

…so no more enabling society’s assholes! Let them take on responsibility

And earn their keep instead, lest they don’t wish to be accepting

Of the progress our culture shall be making from which they refuse to benefit.

*****

That should do it for this week. Hopefully, for those of you who are still waiting for your day to come, it will, and all your days of struggling will become little more than a distant memory, no matter how unpleasant. Aside from that, though, thank you for stopping by to check out my stuff, and as always, feel free to check out my author pages at Smashwords.com, Amazon.com, and Amazon.co.uk to familiarize yourselves with my current body of publications. In the meantime, happy reading!

Regards,

Dustin M. Weber

Poem of the Week: The Bane of Communication

The Bane of Communication

May 15, 2013

 

Have you ever had moments when you’ve tried

To say one thing, yet something else pops out—

Something so absurd that you want to cry

At the fact that such a thing left your mouth?

Have you ever had folks misunderstand

You for what you’ve said, no matter how tame

You try to be with the matter at hand,

Yet folks still look at you like you’re insane?

Have you ever let your emotions get

In the way of that which you’d meant to say,

And you say the most moronic thing yet,

Thus letting your impulsion wreck your day?

Such is the bane of communication

And how it plagues folks across the nation.

*****

Author Pages:

Smashwords.com

Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Poem of the Week: Pity Party Crashed

Happy Memorial Day, America!

This week’s “Poem of the Week” is just a little something that’s sweet, straight-forward, and easy to follow, both in terms of rhyming scheme and the message it tries to convey. Without any further ado, then, here’s Pity Party Crashed. Enjoy!

*****

Pity Party Crashed

May 15, 2013

 

I’m usually calm and laid back, just doing my thing,

Moving on with my life like any other adult would,

But then the memories come back with a painful sting,

And suddenly I’m feeling nowhere as cheerful as I could.

 

All the classmates who made fun of me for whatever reason,

All the teachers who belittled me and treated me like scum,

All the excuses I had to look forward to the next season—

You’d think that I’d be happy to know that those days are done.

 

Sadly, the pain still lingers, and all ‘cause I was too slow

In addressing each issue right when I needed to,

And all the people who’ve hurt me, much to my dismay and woe,

Have gotten away with doing so without a blemish or two.

 

I know, too, that I still have a future ahead of me,

Even with all the years I’ve spent in my life already

Having gone down the toilet to where no one else can see,

Be it my own fault or circumstance having sent it down the jetty.

 

The problem is, however, putting my foot in the door,

And I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but it always seems to me

That each time I’ve tried to do so has proven but a chore,

For the door just slams in my face, and I’m flustered as can be.

 

Such is the way it’s been for years, and it’s bugging me to no end,

For by now, I should have long been in a much better place,

And I get so upset at how I’d held myself back, my friend,

And no matter how hard I try to remind myself I’m no total disgrace,

 

I can’t help but feel ashamed for all the accomplishments I could’ve had

At this point in my life, but have failed hard to achieve,

And I hope that sometime in the future, things won’t be so bad.

Unfortunately, at this moment, all I can do is grieve—

 

Grieve for a childhood I’ve lost, and know I’ll never get back,

Grieve for an adolescence wasted on petty, trivial crap,

Grieve over an adulthood that’s so far only given me flak,

Grieve for—ouch! Hey, what was that that just gave me a slap?

 

What else do you think it is? ‘Tis I, your conscience, you fool!

I’m so sick of all your whining and how bad you think you have it

And how you’re letting the past prevent your future from being cool,

And quite frankly, it’s time I stepped in and made you cut your…crap.

 

You still have a future ahead of you. You just said so yourself.

You’re only in your thirties; that’s still a ways off from being old,

So don’t think for one minute of putting your life up on a shelf

Just yet, for you can still achieve your dreams, if you’d just be bold.

 

Stop moaning ‘bout what could’ve been and obsessing over what once was.

There’s no way to change the past now, only what can be and what is,

And the sooner you get to task on your latest project, the sooner the buzz

Will be around your work, and the sooner you’ll make a splash in the biz.

 

Hmm…maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s time for me to tear

My head out of my anus and straighten myself out,

Screw my heels in and see to the business I must take care

Of in order to prove to the world exactly what I’m about.

 

I’ve obviously felt sorry for myself for long enough, I’d say,

And even though I’m more destined than not to languish I some more

In pain and frustration with life denying me my long due pay,

I know I still must plug along if I plan on settling the score

 

And show the world that I’m worth something after all,

To show everyone that I do matter in the scheme of things,

And to show that I can stand both accountable and tall

On my two feet, no matter how sharply my memories sting.

 

On that note, then, I’ve no more time to be wasting away.

It’s time for me to screw my heels back in and take care of

The business that I hope will lead me to a better day

And help me make the most out of something that I’ve long loved.

*****

That should do it for this week. Hopefully, this poem has inspired those of you who somehow feel stuck in life to build up the courage you need to tackle whatever obstacles yet stand between you and your ultimate goal head-on and not let anyone or anything hold you back from attaining that which you want most out of life. In the meantime, thank you all for stopping by, and once again, I hereby salute all the men and women who have fought in the name of the good ol’ U.S. of A. and all that it stands for. I thus hope everyone’s Memorial Day is a safe and prosperous one, and until we meet again, all, happy reading!

Regards,

Dustin M. Weber

P.S.: For anyone who is interested in whatever work I have already self-published, here are my author pages, as usual:

Smashwords.com

Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Once again, everyone, thanks!

Poem of the Week: If You Want to Bring Back Sketch Comedy…

How’s it going, readers!

The inspiration for this week’s poem comes from what I personally consider to be a rather unique source, all things considering–namely, an old interest that I used to have in sketch comedy during my younger years. You see, not too long ago, when I decided on a whim to look up some odd bits and pieces of some of my favorite sketch comedy shows from back in the day (The Muppet Show, All That, and The Carol Burnett Show being the three that most readily come to mind) while taking a break from writing my current book–a children’s novel that I’ve presently titled Dream Roamers: Tyler Finds His Spirit and plan on discussing eventually on this blog one day–it had also come to my attention that Cartoon Network had decided to do its part in reawakening public interest in this art form on television with Nick Cannon’s Incredible Crew, which has received a somewhat polarized response from the YouTube community as a whole since its TV debut on December 31 this past year. Likewise, I’d also come to learn about Nickelodeon’s answer to IC, the somewhat controversial Nick Studio 10 and–upon learning more about each of these shows from the various rants and reviews made about them that I’ve come across–found myself wondering as to what it is that makes a good sketch comedy show. Naturally, on one hand, it only makes sense to credit the actors of these shows themselves for putting their talents to the test and making their intended audiences laugh their cares away. Then again, no matter how adept or incompetent they are as a collective whole at their craft, even the most gifted among them is bound to suffer humiliation in the eyes of the show’s critics, should the writing for the venue be substandard. After all, no matter the genre or tone of any scripted media, let it be known that the actors involved are but its face. The venue’s writers and the scripts that they write for it, on the other hand, constitute the media’s backbone, thus making it said writers’ responsibility for providing the players with the material they require to truly make the movie, television show, or stage production they’re involved with come alive and entertain its audience.

Therefore, my own opinions on Incredible Crew, Nick Studio 10, and all other sketch comedy shows I’ve ever familiarized myself with aside, I’ve composed a little villanelle that I hope inspires all current and future sketch comedy writers to make the most out of their understanding of the craft so that the talents of the actors they write for shine in the eyes of those whom they hope to make a fanbase out of. Without further ado, then, please enjoy the following composition: If You Want to Bring Back Sketch Comedy…

*****

If You Want to Bring Back Sketch Comedy…

May 13, 2013

 

If you want to bring back sketch comedy,

You must always remember this one rule:

Clever and thoughtful writing is the key.

 

Learn to play your actors’ strengths, McGee,

And leave it to them to play your skits’ fools

If you want to bring back sketch comedy.

 

Witty, complete jokes matter, too, you see—

Nothing too dark, mean-spirited, or cruel.

Clever and thoughtful writing is the key.

 

Don’t forget, either…versatility

Frequently proves a vital acting tool,

If you want to bring back sketch comedy.

 

Distinct and memorable’s how to be

If you’re one of the sketch character school.

Clever and thoughtful writing is the key…

 

And remember to have fun, finally,

And to keep your skits light-hearted and cool.

If you want to bring back sketch comedy,

Clever and thoughtful writing is the key.

*****

That should do it for this week. Thank you all for stopping my blog and taking the time out of your day to read my stuff, even if you’re not a fan of any of the shows mentioned in this post. In the meantime, as always, be sure to check out my author pages at Smashwords.com, Amazon.com, and Amazon.co.uk to check out my list of current publications. Also, before I sign off, I’d just like to make the side note that I’ve learned that Heather Anne Campbell–one of the players from Drew Carey’s Improv-A-Ganza–has been listed as one of the writers for Incredible Crew. If that’s true, then hopefully in the unfortunate incident that IC isn’t renewed for a second season (even if for some network owned by Time Warner other than Cartoon Network), the kids on that show still might have a chance to try their hand at improvisational comedy via the likes of Whose Line Is It Anyway? After all, The CW is a limited liability joint venture between Time Warner’s own Warner Brothers Entertainment and CBS Corporation, and the IC kids certainly have the energy for improv, from what I’ve seen of their work, if nothing else. Just a thought…

At any rate, readers, happy reading!

Regards,

Dustin M. Weber

Poem of the Week: Things Change

Happy Mother’s Day, readers!

This week’s “Poem of the Week” is yet another Shakespearean sonnet that discusses what one can do when a key hobby or interest becomes more of a chore to deal with than that which it was meant to be: actually fun. Without further ado, then, here’s Things Change. Please enjoy!

*****

Things Change

April 30, 2013

 

When that which you love doesn’t love you back,

When a fav’rite thing slaps you ‘cross the face,

When a passion of yours soon fades to black

And you find it an absolute disgrace,

Sometimes what you needs is to step away

From it for a while ‘til your rage subsides

And return to it on a better day

In the vain hope that that thing has survived.

If not, perhaps ‘twould be better for you

Walking ‘way completely and forever

And spare yourself the pain you’re going through

By taking on a whole new endeavor.

Things change, be they for worse or for better.

Nothing, friend, stays the same to the letter.

*****

Well, that should do it for this week. Hopefully, the message of this poem resonates with those of you who have recently (or, at the very least, in the not-too-distant past) dealt with some sort of change in interest. In the meantime, I hereby wish a very happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there and hope that your special day is one of some well-deserved rest and relaxation. I’d also like to thank everyone who has kindly taken the time out of his or her day to read this poem for doing so and would like to encourage you all, as always to stop by my author pages at Smashwords.com, Amazon.com, and Amazon.co.uk to check out my current list of published works. Until next time, then, happy reading!

Regards,

Dustin M. Weber

Poem of the Week: Let Me Be, Salesfiend!

Hello, readers!

I’m not going to bog you down with too much detail about this week’s “Poem of the Week” other than to say here’s my latest villanelle, Let Me Be, Salesfiend! Please enjoy!

*****

Let Me Be, Salesfiend!

April 22, 2013

 

Get away from me! I don’t want your crap.

If I did, I’d be the one calling you.

Let me be, salesfiend, before you get slapped!

 

You come by my house, making me feel trapped

Like some poor, sickly creature in a zoo.

Get away from me! I don’t want your crap.

 

Call me again on the phone, you’ll get zapped

For all the grief you put my phone bill through.

Let me be, salesfiend, before you get slapped!

 

Stop spamming my email address, too, sap.

You’re just vexing me more with what you do.

Get away from me! I don’t want your crap.

 

No more notes in my mailbox, either, chap.

You’re just wasting precious paper Mon Dieu!

Let me be, salesfiend, before you get slapped!

 

I’ll hear not your sales pitch, so shut your yap

And take your sad news back to your fell crew.

Get away from me! I don’t want your crap.

Let me be, salesfiend, before you get slapped!

*****

Thanks for stopping by, and until we meet again, happy reading!

Regards,

Dustin M. Weber

Author Pages: Smashwords.com

                          Amazon.com

                          Amazon.co.uk